I Will Die, Knowing that I Lived

[_Shannon_]

I Will Die, Knowing that I Lived

The sky knew everything was contained in that moment,
when we broke the lock and climbed onto the roof.
Looking out over all those Nashville lights,
the night clouds roared by like a freight train.
We were a part of all those heartbreak songs,
being sung below us over bottles of beer.
And you held my hand tight with eternity,
pretending that morning would never come.

Down in the city we drank our way through town,
recklessly filling our bellies with bravery.
Daring each other, we climbed the fence and lived
a whole lifetime watching the river race past.
We knew this was greatness, sitting in the dirt,
hoping the briar gash on my leg would become a scar.
And we stumbled into John A's where forever
we will dance as Tommy Lasorda sings "The Tennessee Waltz."

[everyadventure]

You really captured the essence of this moment! I liked this line best:

We knew this was greatness, sitting in the dirt,
hoping the briar gash on my leg would become a scar.
And actually would like to have seen it as the last line, with the current ending line moved up...

Fantastic poem!

[_Shannon_]

Thanks for the feedback--it's a little zygote--so I am open to tinkering!

[PrinceMyshkin]

"Kill me, why dontcha," if I may quote someone I read recently! This is so good! This above all:


Daring each other, we climbed the fence and lived
a whole lifetime watching the river race past.

[_Shannon_]

:D The last line feels a little squirrely, though.

[hillwalker]

I'm with ea on my favourite line of a poem filled with so many gems. It seems to sum up the whole point of reliving the memory - a few moments of recklessness too treasured to pass by without a memento.

H

[Hawkman]

Yup, I think ea was right with the suggestion to swap out those lines. The Tennassee Waltze line is running away with itself a bit.

But apart from this I rate it a cracking poem, replete with reflective nostalgia. Nice one, Shannon.

Live and be well, H

[AuntShecky]

Well, Shannon, it's said we learn something new everyday, and I have you to thank for today's new tidbit of knowledge, which to a baseball fan will be very useful indeed.

I knew about the legendary Tommy LaSorda, but I never knew he exercised his pipes in ways other than yelling at players who fail to hustle after hitting an outfield fly. I guess with his singing career he joins the ranks of other sports greats who choose music as a second career or an
avocation. Maybe next Christmas you'll hear Terry Bradshaw warble some carols, but make sure you down a couple of eggnogs first!

Nice nostalgic piece you wrote by the way.

[Bar22do]

Refreshing, excellent poem, not at all a zygote! My L pick up:

We were a part of all those heartbreak songs,
being sung below us over bottles of beer.

though I agree with hill and ea about theirs as well!!!

Best to you, Bar

P.S. BTW, I'm not very keen on your title, would suggest go for sth lighter...

[Jerrybaldy]

Smelt like a mythical night out to be treasured, the beauty of alcohol and abandon equaling love.

[_Shannon_]

Thanks y'all so much for the feed back..I'm gonna let it rumble around for the night and see if I can swap out things tomorrow.

Aunt Shecky true story...my beau said, while we were eating and some random NAshville-lite was singing..."If they play Tennessee Waltz" we're so gonna dance. THen from the back of the bar, Tommy Lasorda of all of the people on the planet, walked up and belted it out. Needless to say we danced with abandon.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Was it inspired by this quote from Henry David Thoreau"

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."