The Shore

[Delta40]

This dull blue ocean is a mere reflection
of my poor appreciation
for Nature.
I have never cared for an
ultramarine current,
how it laps gently on the shore
thanks to the pull of the sun
or is it the moon?
Either way it moves like a mother
rubbing lotion on a baby's writhing body.
It is supposed to calm me
but I am hampered by scavenging gulls,
jellyfish stings
and hair whipped cheeks.
A pelican pays no heed when my net is tangled
between his titanic webbed feet.
He launches himself free
as I yank the wiry mesh
away from the feathery brute.
He will take my tiny share of fish, no doubt.
I grumble salty words that are
lost on the breeze
to sink beneath the waves.
They whisper to the whales
my exact feelings about blueness.
I eventually tune to the motions
of the sea
but not without protest.
This is a back and forth story
I am here, I am not, I am here....
The wood adds to my paltry shelter
A layer of manure will seal the draughts
of my home
my soul.
With winter looming,
I keep still like an ancient menhir
and dig my toes into
pasty shells while I count the pieces of
beachwood drying in the autumn sun.
How much longer must I live like this?

[everyadventure]

I love your poems, Delta, they are always a pleasant surprise. This entire poem was enjoyable, but I think these lines were my favorite:
"I grumble salty words that are
lost on the breeze
to sink beneath the waves
They whisper to the whales
my exact feelings about blueness."

Salty words! Magnificent!

[Delta40]

I got stung to death this morning by jelly fish. I should have put them in my poem....

[PrinceMyshkin]

This seemed to me to lack poetic control. The line-breaks seemed so arbitrary I found myself soon reading it as if it were a series of prose sentences, a somewhat laid-back report.

[Delta40]

Well I don't HAVE to believe you but if you say....The jellyfish stings are spreading across my legs and my perspective may have been somewhat affected? Or it simply is not one of my best!

someone teach me the difference between this prosey poem and Authentic Me?

[hillwalker]

The first 7 lines are a little prosey and don't really do justice to what follows - and as Prince says the line breaks suffer by their placements.

But the rest of the poem I thought was a wonderful read, the eye flitting from point to point like a beach-comber, and the push and pull of the metre very tidal in its structure.

I trust you are not asking any of us to apply that well-known salve for jelly fish stings onto you from afar.

H

[Delta40]

The first 7 lines are a little prosey and don't really do justice to what follows - and as Prince says the line breaks suffer by their placements.

But the rest of the poem I thought was a wonderful read, the eye flitting from point to point like a beach-comber, and the push and pull of the metre very tidal in its structure.

I trust you are not asking any of us to apply that well-known salve for jelly fish stings onto you from afar.

H

I'll just get rid of the first 7 lines then! Thanks for not offering :biggrin5:

[hillwalker]

Thanks for not offering :biggrin5:

Thanks for not asking :biggrin5:

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Here to pee on you both :D

[firefangled]

Well I don't HAVE to believe you but if you say....The jellyfish stings are spreading across my legs and my perspective may have been somewhat affected? Or it simply is not one of my best!

someone teach me the difference between this prosey poem and Authentic Me?

Next time if you can't pee on it use vinegar.

I like the poem, Delta. It does need some trimming though. For example, the first three lines do help the poem at all. It starts with

"I have never cared for an
ultramarine current,
how it laps gently on the shore
thanks to the pull of the sun"