Having a Bad Day

[Hawkman]

Is it serendipity or merely synchronicity,
to find the gun-room key is missing
from its usual place?

When I want to end it all
its absence is a source of gall
and criminal complicity is written on your face.

Who gave you the right to care,
ensuring that my life is spared
when, if I want to die, it’s my decision after all.

But no, you have to interfere,
frustrate egress and make it clear
that from my life of woe there’s no escape.

So for a day or two at least
I’ll have to tame the wretched beast
but when you’re not around, I’ll go and buy a rope.

Then this terminal resolve of mine,
with some reflection, and a little time,
instils a strangely pleasant sense of hope.

So now I cannot quite decide
and find my will to suicide
is somewhat lessened and it’s possible I won’t.

[everyadventure]

The rhyme scheme adds a bit of whimsy to an otherwise dismal topic. It gives the impression that this is not the first time-- nor the last-- that this domestic scene of love and patience has played out.

[AuntShecky]

The topic is a bit of a "downer" as the hippies used to say some decades ago; its execution, however, is rich in irony, akin to the tone of "Resume" by Dorothy Parker.

You might want to drop the apostrophe in this line:
it’s absence is a source of gall

This piece was certainly worth reading, though.

[Delta40]

I like the irony of hope in this piece. The rhyming device gives it an almost child-like stick out your tongue and say 'so there!' feel. If that is the effect you hope to achieve hawk, you did it rather well, leaving the reader (or the person who took the key) worried!

[hillwalker]

The jaunty beat and rather put-out manner of the narrator somehow reminded me of Noel Coward - or possibly a Gilbert and Sullivan song (can't put my finger on which one because I happen to detest their work) but this poem was extremely entertaining, the humour brilliantly understated.

H

[Miki2502989]

it is very amusing.i like it a lot.reminds me of something i heard from a friend,a saying,i cant remember exactly how it went.but it wasn't as good as this

[Hawkman]

ea Hi and thanks for reading. The humour is perhaps a little dark so if you take it at face value I forgive you - lol. You would be right in your assessment of the relationship implied in the verses though :D

Auntie There's no getting one past you it seems :D I have indeed been channeling Dottie! Incidentally Resume is one of the few poems I know off by heart - lol. I once wrote it out in calligraphy and illuminated the page then made it into a birthday card for my brother (who was feeling depressed) He loved it. I sorted the typo, thanks.

Delta Thanks for reading. You're not far off with that comment :D

hill, Well, Coward and Parker did know each other as contemporaries and their take on the zeitgeist was similar. I'm afraid I don't share your detestation of G & S, although they were shameless imitators of Balfe. :D Glad you enjoyed it!

Miki thanks for reading and enjoying.

Again, thanks to you all for sparing the time to read and let me know you had.

Live and be well - H

[Bar22do]

Hope is what tricks us to go on... eh. Anyway your poem is so nicely put. And fun to read, whatever serious matters it hides... "Live long and prosper" (to borrow the saying of a well know bard! :cheers2: !

Best, from Bar

[Hawkman]

Sweet Bar, again with the generosity and appreciation, yet! I am unworthy of such regard, but welcome it none the less :D

Ah yes, the famous Vulcan poet, Spock, doubtless a devotee of logical positivism. :devil:

Live and be well, sweet muse - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Written on the very razor's edge between wit and _____?

I trust - or do I rather hope? - that you will go on, and on...

[Hawkman]

Hi Prince, I can assure you I have no plans for an early exit, but who knows what the next bus will bring? :D Glad you enjoyed the poem.

Live and be well. H

[Bar22do]

Hawk! where I live under the sun we say: "never lend your tongue to devil"! so please do not. Not that I'm superstitious, of course not! ;) Have a lucky day today as well as the next 25550 at least! Bar

[Hawkman]

Sweet Bar, from you lips to the ear of providence ;)

Live and be well, H

[Haunted]

Good job Hawk. Got to have an exit strategy (or two)!!!

[Hawkman]

Hi Haunted, I thought the general rule was not to get into a situation where you need one! lol. glad you liked it.

Live and be well - H