Currently Untitled

[Ace]

Frayed lines of denim

Wear and tear with witnesses bare

A victimless assault

Purportedly performed not purposely

Aggravated by anger-less action

Treads of thread left for dead

A fiction-less figure of factions

Rambling and rustling and rushing red

The color of love, fear, hate, and blood

Little can love a lot

Large can live a lie

Hope will not help those hopeless

Help cannot bring hope to helpless

Everything ends almost every time

Nothing negates their nothingness

Frayed, white lines of denim

That turned red when wearer was dead

[PrinceMyshkin]

Some wonderful aphorisms in this:


Little can love a lot
Large can live a lie
Hope will not help those hopeless
Help cannot bring hope to helpless

[Ace]

Some wonderful aphorisms in this:


Little can love a lot
Large can live a lie
Hope will not help those hopeless
Help cannot bring hope to helpless


Thank you. The "Hope" and "Help" lines were my personal favorite after finishing this poem. :D

[hillwalker]

It starts quite promisingly but by line 4 seems to head off in a different direction.

It then becomes a list of aphorisms rather than a poem, and most of these don't seem to make a lot of sense or impart much in the way of worldly wisdom.

It ends up as little more than a list of sentences, each book-ended by antonyms. And I'm left scratching my head and asking why?

H

[everyadventure]

I read this a while back and was waiting to see if some other reader could offer a clue... I feel silly confessing that I have no idea what it's about!

Frayed lines of denim
Wear and tear with witnesses bare

made me think at first that this might be a rape? But then you call it a victimless assault... and by the time I got to the end I felt like I was reading cryptic messages from a fortune cookie.

Sorry, it was over my head :(

[the facade]

Wear and tear with witnesses bare

I loved this line.
But overall the alliteration feels a little forced at times.
I'm a little puzzled by "Everything ends almost every time" which seems to negate the deterministic air around your images.

[Ace]

I'm a little puzzled by "Everything ends almost every time" which seems to negate the deterministic air around your images.

Because there is almost always an exception to every rule... :D

I thought it was a pretty straight-forward poem though, I would explain but I'd rather see if anyone else reads it first.

[inbetween]

I have to read it again and let it have its effect on me.. right now I'm watching tv meanwhile and can't pay all the attention this poem needs... but I will read it again. I think it's worth it
(thx Ace for making me wonder and ponder :))

[inbetween]

I think I partly got it... to me it's like looking at something (about this red.. I'd say a corpse) and then wondering about life and this world
it makes me emotionless.. somewhat
...