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pre-op
02-17-2011, 09:54 PM
I have some very short stories, that I have no idea what to do with. I have had a positive response from (non-literary... although they can read and write) friends and have recently collected them together in the form of a blog with some pictures: bits of fluff (http://bitsofflufff.blogspot.com/).

I would love any reaction. They would go under the sub-heading of 'humorous'... they might be a too quirky for the taste of some. A few examples:

- Derek couldn't get to grips with his new computer, so he wrote 'DOESN'T WORK' in marker pen all over the screen and drank himself silly.

- When Sophie's hair caught fire, to show how much he cared George immediately set to work dunking paper towels in water and laying them on her head.

- Hearing that Julie had met a man through her computer, Grandma worried that he might not be English, so she wrote a little chart in marker pen spelling out how one spends one's day.

- Sensitively noticing that Anna was all on her own at Becca's party, Richard charged over and talked about what it would be like to be an alien all night.

- Kate and Paul had a 2 year old man called Joseph and a tiny woman called Pat.

- Mr Geoff won the 'Best behaved adult' award at the church dance and Mrs Geoff came 2nd in the 'Most practical clothes' category.

- Rebecca's face got so animated while telling a story this morning, one of her eye brows ended up in Philip's mouth.

- "So... you're definitely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" checked Emily. "YES, do the math" Brian replied with more force than was intended. He hadn't spoken all day.

- The final straw for David was Dawn sowing 'BE POSITIVE' into all of his clothes.

- Malcolm went to sleep with his arms and legs outstretched in a star shape facing the ceiling, because Dan told him he would wake up ready to face the the day ahead better. But he always awoke back in the foetal position with a pillow clasped over his head.

- "Is that Baby Jesus?" asked Daddy, enthusiastically pointing to a picture of Christ on the cross. "Sort of" answered Amy, looking around to see if she could spot Mummy.

- The day started well, but I ended up running someone over in my car and having to spend the next couple of years in jail.

- After 6 years of collecting fossils, Adrian was a little disappointed after having them examined, to learn that they're all just bits of pavement from outside his flat.

- Victoria loved common sense so much, she kicked a hole in the fence.

- Susan only started seeing Adrian as more than just a friend when she had doubled in weight.

- "If I win the lottery, I'll give some of it to charity" George whispered sexily into Katie's ear, heaving his big torso a little closer.

etc...

I'm unsure if this is good forum etiquette, forming a new thread as a first post, but I'd also like to add a Hello. I live in London and earn my living through various creative ventures. I've just spend a while viewing various literary forums and this one, largely through the lack of pastel shades (can brown be a pastel colour?) I arrived here. I look forward delving deeper.

...I actually quite like pastel shades come to think of it. Maybe just not on forums... something to meditate on!

Delta40
02-17-2011, 10:00 PM
Welcome to lit-net pre-op. The etiquette here is that if you have a short story, then post it in the short story section rather a link to another blog so people can review and critique in this forum.

everyadventure
02-17-2011, 10:07 PM
Hi! We'd love to read some of your stuff, but we're terribly lazy and won't leave the comfort of this little forum. So go ahead and copy and paste a story into a new thread and we'll take a look; it sounds interesting. :)

pre-op
02-17-2011, 10:16 PM
The examples I gave are the short stories in themselves. 16 short stories. They're not snippets from larger ones. I apologise for confusion and for adding a link... and if I'm misinterpreting your posts! :)

everyadventure
02-17-2011, 10:21 PM
Oh, I was hoping there was more, as they're rather intriguing. Check out the thread "what's your six word story" a bit further down on the short story page. I bet you can think of a fantastic one to add!

hillwalker
02-18-2011, 07:56 AM
Some of these are intriguing - though they read more like those absurd captions to photographs one sees on certain joke greetings cards.

I would be hard pushed to call any of them stories since at best they are observations or statements. And similarly, 'humorous' is rather stretching it. One or two raised a smile at best, but the funniest thing you wrote was how you come to choose LitNet - because of its colour scheme.

H

pre-op
02-18-2011, 08:23 AM
I feel alienated by forums that don't use the combination of diarrhoea orange and various shades of spilt tea.

hillwalker
02-18-2011, 10:55 AM
I feel alienated by forums that don't use the combination of diarrhoea orange and various shades of spilt tea.

In that case you're obviously in your element. Welcome - and I find wearing shades usually helps

H http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=903&pictureid=6939

Delta40
02-18-2011, 06:26 PM
sorry about the assumption. I do like your description of Lit-Net. I always feel like I've squeezed my ample portions into a dusty, musty old bookcase when I log in....

pre-op
02-18-2011, 07:28 PM
sorry about the assumption. I do like your description of Lit-Net. I always feel like I've squeezed my ample portions into a dusty, musty old bookcase when I log in....

Sounds uncomfortable.

I feel like I've squeezed my small portion into the underwear of an incontinent old man.

cyberbob
02-18-2011, 09:20 PM
Those aren't really stories.

They're jokes, right? Am I dumb for not getting most of them?

hillwalker
02-19-2011, 10:51 AM
Those aren't really stories.

They're jokes, right? Am I dumb for not getting most of them?

No - join the club.

H