Going Solo

[Hawkman]

For Sherida

The old training glider is an ugly brute,
not a sleek bird of fibreglass,
polished and gleaming in the sun,
it’s made of wood and doped canvas,
squatting squiffilly on the ground,
leaning lopsidedly with a wing-tip in the grass.
It has an open cockpit.
Going up in this thing is an act of faith
and you must be fresh and fearless this morning,
with the frost still winking at you in the rosy light.
So you grab hold of it and shake,
but not with trepidation,
you just want to be sure that it won’t come apart;
it’s twenty years older than you are.
If nothing falls off – it’s safe.
Sort of.
Don’t be a wuss,
do you want to live forever?
When you’re sixteen, the answer is yes.

You prowl the periphery of the aircraft,
pulling pins with fluttering red ribbons
and then you take your place and strap in.
Now pre flight checks:
controls are free,
brakes, well you haven’t got any,
spoilers, not fitted,
instruments – all seem to be there,
trim – another thing you haven’t got,
canopy – see above,
ballast – check.
Time to be off.

A boy, possessing Prince Charles’ face,
takes hold of your wing tip and levels your plane
and you signal the winch to take up the slack
and the cable snakes as it slithers back.
Then slowly at first, you start to move,
with the sky and ground your only truth,
with the cable taught you shout, “All out!”
You start to move faster, the boy falls down
and your wing-tip is dragging along the ground,
so you pray that your speed is sufficiently fast
that ailerons lift your wing out of the grass.
At forty-eight knots you pull on the stick
and pray to the gods that you won’t be sick
as you feel the lift in the seat of your pants
and your lips form the shape of a word of thanks.

At a thousand feet you pull the release
and you sever your last tie to the earth
and soar,
suspended,
with the fields spread below,
floating and free.

[Bar22do]

Oh I see, speaking of the cost of freedom...

Usually I'm afraid of long poems, so many potential traps and unknown words or idioms, but I got this one, I hope, and loved the end especially (when the freedom is finally experienced)! But my bad habit is to believe the shorter the better, so I allowed myself a try at the task. You can blame me for ruining your poem and bin it straight. But read my pm all the same...

Thanks for sharing your (???) memory... with my warm regards, Bar

[everyadventure]

You let us experience this poem, so well done! The only line that distracted me was "who possesses Prince Charles’ face," it made my mind wander. I was seeing the plane so clearly, and then...

You really captured the sense of movement in the second to last stanza. Thanks for the ride!

[Haunted]

I usually avoid long poems, especially ones that are complicated and cryptic, requiring a lot of time and energy from the reader, both of which I don't have. But this poem is exceptional. The narrative breezes along like wind under the wings, and offers much suspense (is it going to crash?!). Also the nostalgia of an old plane is well crafted, followed with a very satisfying ending.

[Hawkman]

Sweet Bar, thankee for sticking with it and I will give it a little trim here and there as there are a couple of spurious things which could go I think. It is indeed a memory, and a fairly vivid one from my dim, distant youth :D Thanks, as always, for your thoughts :)

ea thanks to you too. I agree that line needs work. About the only thing I remember about this individual is that he looked like Prince Charles and that he fell over and dragged my wing tip down with him! Glad you liked the take off's rhythm :)

Haunted Hi, is it going to crash was the question on my mind at the time - lol Fortunately for me, it didn't :devil: Glad you enjoyed it.

Thank all of you for reading and taking the time to let me know you had. The glider I was flying was one of these things (see link) but as far as I remember mine was all grey, though the memory does play tricks. This one has spoilers which can be seen clearly in the photograph on the upper surface of the wings. This means that mine probably did too, but for some reason I'm convinced that it didn't. Don't ask me why...

http://medbib.com/File:Slingsby_(1249888545).jpg

Live long and Prosper - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

"taught" in v. 3 should be "taut" and the whole of it would read so much better, I believe, as a prose poem or better still as a vignette. Nothing in it appealed to me the way I hope a poem will.

[Hawkman]

Hi, Prince. Well, it's still taught in my dictionary and it is the way I was tought to spell it :D although I accept that people who live in the present are allowed to spell it taut :devil: Sorry you don't like it.

Happy Birthday

Live and be well - H

[blank|verse]

A nice ride on the whole, Hawk. It takes a while to get going, and I would have liked more of the view from above (where the poem ends) but it reads well overall. The title and dedication suggest that the whole piece could be metaphorical, a bit like 'Midair' by Tom Warner:

If it all goes wrong, midair
I doubt I could put us down in a river.

I suspect I'd slam us nose first into the circuit board
of a densely populated suburb. [...]
I thought the 'Prince Charles' face' line was the most outstanding of the poem. A brilliantly visual, hilarious image. That he 'possesses' his face is a great metaphor. I think it works rhythmically; perhaps there are more s-sounds in the line than you'd like, but I still think it's ok; maybe 'a boy possessing Prince Charles's face' might work instead?

A few more figurative moments would have benefited the poem, I felt, like this line which is also nicely evocative:

with the frost still winking at you in the rosy light.
Do you need both verbs in this line?

and the cable snakes as it slithers back.
I'm not sure about the introduction of rhyme. It does pick up the pace, but is a bit too jaunty, and don't think the poem would lose anything without it. I think the weaker moments are when things get a bit too chatty:

Sort of.
Don’t be a wus,
do you want to live forever?
When you’re sixteen, the answer is yes.
(And if you must use 'wus', isn't it spelt 'wuss'?) 'Squiffily' isn't my cup of tea, either, but I think works in the context, old chap! Chocks away and all that.

Anyway, it reminded me that I started a poem about this old guy I used to see sitting in his MG at the side of a glider airfield. I was never overly happy with the poem, but might have to sort it out and post it anyway.

[Hawkman]

Hi b/v and thanks for the coments, especially as there were so many positive ones! :D

The change to rhyme and the exaggerated pace during the take off was intended to reflect the breathless, heart-racing near panic of taking the glider up for the first time solo. Take-off and landing are always the most dangerous and nerve-wracking bits, on top of which it's a rite of passage... and you are being graded on your performance all the time by an instructor who is deciding whether he's been wasting his time :D

Glad you liked the kid who looked like PC, he even had the ears!

Do I need snakes and slithers? - actually I think I do. The tow cable is flaked out in front of you, i.e. from side to side so you can see the slack being taken up, and it slithers through the glrass as it is drawn in.

Sadly there's no metaphore here, just a memory from 1975, or thereabouts. I'd have to check my logbook for the date, if I could find it. Haven't seen it for years.

Your suggestion for possessing is a good one and I think I'll use it, thanks. and I'll fix wuss :)

As for the banter: "What Sir? Slower banter, Sir? I say! Caribou gone, nice woody word!"

(Are you old enough to remember this? lol)

Please dig out your poem. I, for one, would like to see it. Thanks again for your insights. Best, H

[blank|verse]

Hi b/v and thanks for the comments, especially as there were so many positive ones!
Quick! Post some more while I'm feeling generous! It won't last... :)

Do I need snakes and slithers?
I think the point is that they both say the same thing, although the line would be noticeably shorter without one of them.

As for the banter: "What Sir? Slower banter, Sir? I say! Caribou gone, nice woody word!"
I'm afraid that left me blanker than usual...

[Hawkman]

Quick! Post some more while I'm feeling generous! It won't last... :)

I think the point is that they both say the same thing, although the line would be noticeably shorter without one of them.

I don't necessarily agree here. One could say a river snakes through the grassland, meaning meandering, whereas anything can slither, even in a straight line...


I'm afraid that left me blanker than usual...

Monty Python, "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more..."

Cheers H

[AuntShecky]

Narrative poems sometimes slip into the arena of prose,but this one seems to keep itself on a lyrical "keel"--a nautical term, not an aviation one, I admit.

There are some remarkable images -- the aforementioned simile concerning Prince Charles's face. My favorite was the reference to the common delusion among adolescents, that they are immortal:

If nothing falls off – it’s safe.
Sort of.
Don’t be a wuss,
do you want to live forever?
When you’re sixteen, the answer is yes.

The closing lines were appropriate and quite effective as well.

[Hawkman]

Hi Auntie, thanks for reading and commenting, especially as you seem to have liked it :D I am always amazed by the disparate responses from readers, some liking elements that others don't.

Thanks again

Live and be well - H