Idahoma

[paperastronaut]

Early youth,
those happy days.
Unassuming friends,
what did they care?
No one knew,
of hair-gel, yet.
Handstands mattered,
shoes didn't.

The hateful youth,
all filled with joy,
didn't include,
the unhappy child.
He was strange,
and failed in math.
The assuming boy
thought he was broken,
and in truth
to them, he was.

The world changed,
as his address did.
He was older now,
still the same,
but with something new.
Those kids were gone,
and the assuming boy,
never wrote them.

In a new home
now,
relationships are different,
unassuming friends,
have been newly found.

Slowly then,
the boy changed again,
he was filled joy,
and changed some more.

The king of town,
he loved everyone,
until one day,
a stranger came.
The people smiled,
and said hello.

But the king,
had a though,
this boy is strange,
welcome him?
I will not!

With all their love,
the people smiled,
following their king,
the new,
hateful child.





I feel like a jellyfish trying to jump rope...

[everyadventure]

No one knew,
of hair-gel, yet.
Handstands mattered,
shoes didn't.

Great lines... it fills me with nostalgia. Remember sword-fighting with sticks, finding shapes in the clouds, climbing trees? Back when those things mattered?

How sad that the cycle begins again at the end :(

BTW, I bet you didn't realize that jellyfish are EXCELLENT at Double-Dutch!

[hillwalker]

This started well enough - but then became rather weighed down by the rather mundane historical facts (verses 3 to 5) of 'the boy' moving town and trying to find new friends. Then we have 'the king' (?) which changed the whole mood of the piece yet again - from wistful (v1-2) to banal (v3-5) to rather peculiar by the end.

Verse 1 is by far the best - if you could expand that as a portrait of growing-up pains it would be a worthwhile read.

h

[paperastronaut]

This started well enough - but then became rather weighed down by the rather mundane historical facts (verses 3 to 5) of 'the boy' moving town and trying to find new friends. Then we have 'the king' (?) which changed the whole mood of the piece yet again - from wistful (v1-2) to banal (v3-5) to rather peculiar by the end.

Verse 1 is by far the best - if you could expand that as a portrait of growing-up pains it would be a worthwhile read.

h

H: thanks for the feedback. thats exactly what i need to hear!

and about the "king" thing, i was trying to return to the second verse but with a reversal of the roles.