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Jassy Melson
02-15-2011, 07:07 PM
I still hadn't found what I was looking for, so I turned around to see the dawn, but I saw the sunset instead. So I turned around once more to face the music and the band, and standing before me was my dream lover, looking just like Bobby Darin. So we refreshed ourselves, sucking the dew from each other's breath. And Bobby said I feel as if death is walking behind me. And I said don't worry, it's only your shadow casting you out, forsaking you, it happens to the best of us. Be of good cheer, our revels are coming to an end (as Will said they would). There is nothing we can do to escape our fate. Bobby nodded and disappeared, splish splashing under the water in his bathtub, and I sighed, realizing this was the story of my life: to be alone, to sing a solitary song. I had made a deal with the devil years ago. In exchange for my ragged soul he gave me the power to sing poetry and to become infamous in my own time. A fair bargain I reckon.

I passed James Dean in his crashed and crushed Spider. Although it made growling sounds, the Little Bastard was dead to the world--and so was Jimmy. Oh well, he would have ended making Budweiser commercials anyway.

Around the corner I spotted Steve McQueen looking so cool in his turtleneck. Lithe as a panther, leaning in a doorway, poised in his praying mantis pose, cobra eyes dancing with devilish delight. I said hi as I passed him by and he grinned with his eyebrows and looked beyond my shoulder watching my back. Bullitt is on my side I sang aloud, laughing a white laugh. McQueen said you got it, pal, and smiled a white smile.

Into the mist I wandered, into a world of lost shadows. I saw the black coffin with my name engraved, and knew I had come to the right place. The great white caterpillar with its red tie and pomaded hair guards the gravestone. It resembles Oscar Wilde, and with a Moby Dick grin invites me to spend the night while the wife's away. I politely decline, informng it that I've turned asexual. It nods a sagacious nod and says nobody's perfect. I lie down in the silken interior and I thank the gods for a painless death. I open my mouth to receive communion with the lotus flower, as two coins are placed upon my eyes. The caterpillar closes the lid and silent darkness at last envelops me.

I die and am reborn in the same instant. I know my lives are numbered and there won't be many more; the devil must have his due. Something tells me he will feel cheated when I throw him my soul. In the meantime I mean to live each day as if it were my last. Oh say can you see by the moon's twilight what the caterpillar dragged in: a clown's white skull mask and harlequin tights. A fitting costume for this my present life.

And what does it all mean? I hear a faint voice ask in the distance. And I answer it means nothing. Good morning and good night.

Jassy Melson
02-18-2011, 04:36 AM
I'm surprised this got only twenty-seven views and no replies. I'm continuely amazed that some certain prose gets hundreds of views and dozens of replies when, in my opinion, the prose in question is not that good. I guess I'm missing something.

Jack of Hearts
02-18-2011, 05:00 AM
Jassy,

This reader did not understand all of the references. He feels he does not concretely recognize what this is about (his understanding is guess work, hindered perhaps by lack of literacy in the references as mentioned and also in the way this is presented). Attempting to make sense out of this was more arduous than pleasant and there didn't seem to be a reward.

For fear of discouraging you, he would have to admit he is probably not the intended audience- this reader couldn't care less about James Dean or Steve McQueen (which the reader assumes is being used to insinuate a passage of time, part of the narrator's life). If the implication of your reply is that this piece is somehow more deserving of a read than any other, this reader fundamentally rejects that.

To make clear; the above comments are an honest opinion about this piece only. This reader makes no comment about your writing skill in general, being largely unfamiliar with it.


J

Jassy Melson
02-18-2011, 10:33 AM
Thank you for reading it and commenting.