Atheism

[paperastronaut]

I give up; I wasn’t going to fall asleep tonight. This happens to me at least one or two times every couple of months, usually on a night when I’ve been up late, either toiling over laboratory notebooks for my school research team, or after going out to a crummy movie with a group of loud friends. Either way I always get back to my apartment and decide to reward myself for surviving the barely tolerable day. My reward usually consists of falling “asleep” while watching another crummy movie… I don’t know why but at the time this always seems like the right remedy for my bad day. After watching the movie I usually can’t fall asleep, so I select another campy comedy and push play. Before I know it the clock strikes 3 am and I’m still wide awake… that’s usually when the hounds come out to gallop around my room and through my mind. Over the years they’ve grown in size and strength, they’ve become so large that I can hardly ever overpower them. Lately I’ve begun to want them to come… even though they are horrid and I hate them with all my heart.

Tonight was different, I knew that the hour was growing near when they were most likely to appear, but I was going to defeat them tonight. I didn’t know how but I knew that I would.

I closed my eyes and prayed, when I opened them I wasn’t surprised to see one of the hounds standing beside my bed, it was looking at me with its awful eyes, the head was almost human and it had a strangely familiar face. It spoke to me in the voice of a woman, eyes burning red under liquid reptilian eyelids, the hound told me that I was strong, and could become stronger. “You can be great” it told me, I agreed with the hound… and it smiled at me, and I fell in love with it…

Happiness filled my mind like a drug, it flowed through my limbs and out of my fingers and toes, I felt like I had reached Nirvana… but in an instant it was gone. My vision cleared and I saw that the hound was still standing beside me, I hated him, his smiling face mocked me. I was in a prison; I had gotten here on my own accord with minimal convincing by the hound… I was trapped. With that the hound left my side, he whistled a tune and looked back with his evil face and gave me a wink and a grin before he walked through the wall and disappeared.



I woke the next morning hating myself, hating the hound, and hating my weakness.





Again the night had come, and again it was 3 AM, I sat upright in my bed and waited for the hound to appear… I missed him.

[everyadventure]

Mmm. I may be unclear on what, precisely, you're alluding to. But it is an interesting truth that we often desire the very things that can ultimately destroy us...

[bortleman]

Like EA that was the only tying that strongly came through your work. Everything else is a little too vague, but with a little more work I think you could flesh out what the point is a little clearer and allow the audience to better follow along with you.

[paperastronaut]

Thanks for the advice guys.

I'm not sure if I want to touch this thing again or not.

[moonbird]

I think this could be good with some work. I'm not really sure what it has to do with atheism but with some added details maybe you can bring out the point in the story. Good luck

[Mr. Pedantic]

Perhaps I'm being dense, but I didn't understand what this had to do with atheism, either. My tenuous understanding is that the hound was God and you wanted to believe to explain your meaningless humdrum life, but then you realize that the notion is frivolous and that you're late for your Western Civilizations class.

Also, hounds don't gallop.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

Hounds don't whistle, wink, talk, or smile either, so what's your point, Pedantic?

I wouldn't change a thing to this story. Making it "clearer" would take away it's elusiveness, which I really like.

How I interpreted it was that the hounds represent religion, or more precisely an illusion that invades the mind (which could be argued that that is what religion is), as they show up after you pray. The hound is enticing to the narrator, luring him with promises of greatness, and when this is accepted it brings peace to the narrator, but only temporarily. The narrator knows the hound (and ideas of religion) are ridiculous, but he still clings to it because it brings him that false comfort, and thus he hates himself for relying on something he knows to be false--it is weakness.

Or, another way of looking at it, I guess, could be that the hound represents atheism. The main reason I am considering this is that the narrator mentions how the hound grows stronger as he gets older--something that often happens to the faithful. If this is the case, then atheism is the weakness in this story. I was inclined to see the hound as religion since I am not an endorser of organized religion.

That's what I got out of it. I really liked it.

Also, just as an aside, I caught a couple grammar errors: In "My reward is usually consists of falling “asleep” while watching another crummy movie," take out "is." And, in "I knew that the hour was growing near when they where most likely to appear," "where" should be "were."

[paperastronaut]

I think this could be good with some work. I'm not really sure what it has to do with atheism but with some added details maybe you can bring out the point in the story. Good luck

I'll try to rethink this and give it some additional direction.

The reason for the title...
I called this "atheism" because the subject of the story has forsaken his desire and belief that he will defeat the hounds and has accepted the fact that they will overpower him... he's given up on his faith (his "religion", his "hearts desire", and his wish at the end of the day). He could beat the hound but he lets them win by forfeiting the various advantages he has against them. Theists call this practical atheism, it's a term used to designate religious people that don't hold to their own standards. I think it fits well with the idea I was attempting to express.

Mr. P, as for the galloping hounds, you would be completely right if were not for the fact that these dogs aren't like any you've ever seen. As the writer I reserve the right to mold a creature into whatever form I see fit, and these hounds definitely gallop.

[Delta40]

This so sounds like a sleep paralysis experience to me. On that basis, I think its a very good description. As a story, it may need to be expanded upon for the benefit of the reader.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

This so sounds like a sleep paralysis experience to me. On that basis, I think its a very good description. As a story, it may need to be expanded upon for the benefit of the reader.

I agree. It could be longer.

[paperastronaut]

Tonight I'll beat those hounds from hell, I'm ready for them. My heart is happy because I know the outcome of this battle; I've chosen to win, for the millionth time. Will tonight be the beginning of the end for these mirror faced beasts? I dare not imagine my future life with them as part of me... it must be tonight. My father always tells me that "to be the man you want to be tomorrow, you have to start today". It's done. I've finished, I've chosen to win. Now all I can do is wait, the darkness is here and I will wake in the morning and then I'll know.

I can hear them now... They're circling my bed, I can still defeat them, I think... Can I withstand this demon siege?

I'm growing hungry, they're tempting me with their whistling tunes, at the moment nothing but their promises will quench my thirst. I wish I could tie myself to my chair and in the dark listen to the sound of their siren singing... but that would be defeat...

I have kept them from myself so far.... but now I begin to tempt myself. One moment won't kill me, I can enjoy them for a second without causing any harm... but then I remember that that's what always gets me... "Be the man you want to be tomorrow" echoes in my mind...

As soon as the last reverberating words are silenced the hounds burst into my mind, howling and laughing at my feeble attempts to ward them off, they know I want them and they are confident in their goal.

I take one look and then I scream for help! "I cannot do this on my own"! What’s the purpose anyway? As my mental limbs grow tired from this uphill sprint away from the hound’s smiling face, I begin to give up. I fall to the ground and tuck my head into the ground like a child hiding behind its own small incapable hands believing to be invisible...but I know the truth. I'm finished. It is done... I cannot save myself...

I need help, someone, something, I need protection! I need help, I need help, please help me...

[everyadventure]

Geez, Astroboy, now I gotta go to sleep with your screams echoing in my head? My first thought was to let my dog sleep at the foot of my bed for protection... but then I might hear him whistling...

I like the way you filled out the ending, as disturbing as it is!