MystyrMystyry
02-11-2011, 10:10 AM
i woke in the sticky black
according to the new
casio g-shock on my
wrist (odd this - i never
wear a watch to bed,
but also i had no memory
of the purchase: i could
only recall seeing it
advertised in a glossy
letterbox stuffer) but
anyhow, according to
it it was both slightly before
and after (yeah..?)
half arsed bastard o'clock
weather would be a
little frisky and to expect
the unexpected - though be
alert for the expected to
flare worse than usual - well
normalarily when i receive
predictions i take them with
a pinch of salt unless i'm
feeling a little on the
highbloodpressurey
side - and then opt for a
substitute, but this odd
morning i climbed out of bed
noticing my feet were most
of a yard above the ground
and i couldn't reach my slippers
eventually i ignored them
and went outside - which is not
part of the customary ritual
at all and for a moment before
my eyes had a chance to
adjust to the cloudy gloom
i thought i espied a shadowy
hooded figurine - for it was
a mere two feet tall and it did
beckon me closer with its middle
and index digits, but i couldn't
move toward it as the air around
my ankles seemed to consist of
gassy molasses and my feet
were stuck in the stuff
at last i could both see clearer
and move quicker and even felt
better as though of vintage ale
had i imbibed - not too much
just sufficient to break through
the fuzzy head tension throgh
to the underside where visions
of vampires swarmed in my glass
and elephants on rollerskates
danced the foxtrot and bossa nova
while galaxies exploded in the skies above
but hard! what rock through yonder
window breaks! It is oberon the brave
queen of the elfs - and she takes my
trembling paw and leads me to the
nevernoticed cave beneath the elm
and what a root system therein lies
and what a metropolis under the garden
who could have guessed in this
unearthly place this ungodly hour
this unheralded palace lit up by
entrapped insects and music
played on orpheus' lyre and pipe
echoed throughout the halls
be aware traveller of the realm of
untime! the wizened witch warned
in cold tremulous cryptic tones
be aware that these sights unseen
are to be your last as the deeper you
delve the impossibler to escape and you
shalt become of them as them
forever trapped in this stale isthmus
she obviously had no idea what she
was on about as I felt perfectly safe
and never happier and this was
a great joint to hang out in with litle elfin
minstrels and acrobats and dancers and
jugglers and magicians and chalk artists
providing endless entertainment
after some hours i informed my hostess
that i should be getting go as i had a
big weekend planned ahead and that
there would be more visits from me
if she would be willing to extend the
invitation to another night or morning
there!
that expression of scorn upon her dial!
apparently i'd done something to upset
the peace, some faux pas, some slight
oh i don't know what for there were no
words forthcoming on the issue as the
littlle elfs began circling around me baring
their suddenly bloody fangs and nails - and
those beady elfy eyes black and red glaring
glowering at me with malice, of menace
aforethought, of some wicked horror to
come - so i jumped over them and ran
to flee the imminent danger
a curious thing! the floor of woven wool
was a carpet of caterpillars that moved as
one unto a conveyor belt - assisting my
legs of desperate jelly in their flight
and soon i was as near as it was possible
to be near the entrance without being on
the other side the entrance - but lo! did the
elm roots enclose and with my trusty pocketblade
did i return the favour with a slash and a slice and
thrust and a hack
and finally i was free of their
ravages and out on the street
or leastways where the street should have been
rather i am in a forest of some description
(deciduous? is that a description?)
and there is a path beneath my feet
a signpost directing me to either left or right
which seems obvious enough - but which to
choose? i choose the right as arbitrarily
as this crazy morning has chosen me to be
its rubberball
there's an impulse below ground
accompanying my steps, a deep pulsating bass
which ceases when i desist and resumes
its booming as i again propel myself forward
always looking behind to ensure that the
little mongrels have truly lost the scent
may have given up may have found another
victim, but i am free to explore the wild wilderness
to step off the path if i wish but i do not
something compels me to keep track of the track
and not sidetrack nor backtrack
when in the distance i see it!
a castle of silver glistening in the moonlight!
i inch toward it as it is of such enormity
i seem unable to make headway
until it occurs to me that should i be
able to make the bass throb faster
then more speed gained and less
time consumed so i pound the ground
to a rumbling quake as pulses plus and
multilply until i bound upon the rhythm
to the destination
and it is a giant's lair!
the drawbridge alone must weigh one hundred
tons and be the width of an army side by side
length to length
the height and breadth it is a mountain range
as vast as this and the top piercing the sky
where a lightning storm is zapping the flagpoles
like conducting rods and bathing the parapets in
gleaming wet from the shimmering rain
i put trepidation aside and begin to cross
a journey of a mile with no noise but the wind
and vultures and bats circling overhead
beneath - the moat! as a raging ocean it rolls
and growls, its waves of tidal proportions
i reach the other side and am not certain
of the appropriate sound to make - there's
no doorbell, and knocking shave and a haircut
seems wrong, so i call out 'yoo hoo!' to the silence
only upon entering do i begin to realise my
mistake - i don't belong here - this is a home
of heroes, real warriors who have fought
to the death and beaten the odds
and i am a lowly trespasser, but i've come so far
and i'm here now, so onward i enter the main
hall
the stink of recent death permeates the
towering environs as a forlorn bell tolls
distantly through the mouldy corridors
torches on walls covered in ancient hangings
tapestries depicting cartoons without captions
loud but hollow laughter winds from afar
echoing through various crevices and stairwells
a strange greeting indeed, but sufficient to light
the fire of my ire and this mcguffin to seek
it is loudest from a spiral stair so i make my way
over the sticky blood covering the floortiles
and stop at its base briefly before making my ascent
according to the new
casio g-shock on my
wrist (odd this - i never
wear a watch to bed,
but also i had no memory
of the purchase: i could
only recall seeing it
advertised in a glossy
letterbox stuffer) but
anyhow, according to
it it was both slightly before
and after (yeah..?)
half arsed bastard o'clock
weather would be a
little frisky and to expect
the unexpected - though be
alert for the expected to
flare worse than usual - well
normalarily when i receive
predictions i take them with
a pinch of salt unless i'm
feeling a little on the
highbloodpressurey
side - and then opt for a
substitute, but this odd
morning i climbed out of bed
noticing my feet were most
of a yard above the ground
and i couldn't reach my slippers
eventually i ignored them
and went outside - which is not
part of the customary ritual
at all and for a moment before
my eyes had a chance to
adjust to the cloudy gloom
i thought i espied a shadowy
hooded figurine - for it was
a mere two feet tall and it did
beckon me closer with its middle
and index digits, but i couldn't
move toward it as the air around
my ankles seemed to consist of
gassy molasses and my feet
were stuck in the stuff
at last i could both see clearer
and move quicker and even felt
better as though of vintage ale
had i imbibed - not too much
just sufficient to break through
the fuzzy head tension throgh
to the underside where visions
of vampires swarmed in my glass
and elephants on rollerskates
danced the foxtrot and bossa nova
while galaxies exploded in the skies above
but hard! what rock through yonder
window breaks! It is oberon the brave
queen of the elfs - and she takes my
trembling paw and leads me to the
nevernoticed cave beneath the elm
and what a root system therein lies
and what a metropolis under the garden
who could have guessed in this
unearthly place this ungodly hour
this unheralded palace lit up by
entrapped insects and music
played on orpheus' lyre and pipe
echoed throughout the halls
be aware traveller of the realm of
untime! the wizened witch warned
in cold tremulous cryptic tones
be aware that these sights unseen
are to be your last as the deeper you
delve the impossibler to escape and you
shalt become of them as them
forever trapped in this stale isthmus
she obviously had no idea what she
was on about as I felt perfectly safe
and never happier and this was
a great joint to hang out in with litle elfin
minstrels and acrobats and dancers and
jugglers and magicians and chalk artists
providing endless entertainment
after some hours i informed my hostess
that i should be getting go as i had a
big weekend planned ahead and that
there would be more visits from me
if she would be willing to extend the
invitation to another night or morning
there!
that expression of scorn upon her dial!
apparently i'd done something to upset
the peace, some faux pas, some slight
oh i don't know what for there were no
words forthcoming on the issue as the
littlle elfs began circling around me baring
their suddenly bloody fangs and nails - and
those beady elfy eyes black and red glaring
glowering at me with malice, of menace
aforethought, of some wicked horror to
come - so i jumped over them and ran
to flee the imminent danger
a curious thing! the floor of woven wool
was a carpet of caterpillars that moved as
one unto a conveyor belt - assisting my
legs of desperate jelly in their flight
and soon i was as near as it was possible
to be near the entrance without being on
the other side the entrance - but lo! did the
elm roots enclose and with my trusty pocketblade
did i return the favour with a slash and a slice and
thrust and a hack
and finally i was free of their
ravages and out on the street
or leastways where the street should have been
rather i am in a forest of some description
(deciduous? is that a description?)
and there is a path beneath my feet
a signpost directing me to either left or right
which seems obvious enough - but which to
choose? i choose the right as arbitrarily
as this crazy morning has chosen me to be
its rubberball
there's an impulse below ground
accompanying my steps, a deep pulsating bass
which ceases when i desist and resumes
its booming as i again propel myself forward
always looking behind to ensure that the
little mongrels have truly lost the scent
may have given up may have found another
victim, but i am free to explore the wild wilderness
to step off the path if i wish but i do not
something compels me to keep track of the track
and not sidetrack nor backtrack
when in the distance i see it!
a castle of silver glistening in the moonlight!
i inch toward it as it is of such enormity
i seem unable to make headway
until it occurs to me that should i be
able to make the bass throb faster
then more speed gained and less
time consumed so i pound the ground
to a rumbling quake as pulses plus and
multilply until i bound upon the rhythm
to the destination
and it is a giant's lair!
the drawbridge alone must weigh one hundred
tons and be the width of an army side by side
length to length
the height and breadth it is a mountain range
as vast as this and the top piercing the sky
where a lightning storm is zapping the flagpoles
like conducting rods and bathing the parapets in
gleaming wet from the shimmering rain
i put trepidation aside and begin to cross
a journey of a mile with no noise but the wind
and vultures and bats circling overhead
beneath - the moat! as a raging ocean it rolls
and growls, its waves of tidal proportions
i reach the other side and am not certain
of the appropriate sound to make - there's
no doorbell, and knocking shave and a haircut
seems wrong, so i call out 'yoo hoo!' to the silence
only upon entering do i begin to realise my
mistake - i don't belong here - this is a home
of heroes, real warriors who have fought
to the death and beaten the odds
and i am a lowly trespasser, but i've come so far
and i'm here now, so onward i enter the main
hall
the stink of recent death permeates the
towering environs as a forlorn bell tolls
distantly through the mouldy corridors
torches on walls covered in ancient hangings
tapestries depicting cartoons without captions
loud but hollow laughter winds from afar
echoing through various crevices and stairwells
a strange greeting indeed, but sufficient to light
the fire of my ire and this mcguffin to seek
it is loudest from a spiral stair so i make my way
over the sticky blood covering the floortiles
and stop at its base briefly before making my ascent