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Delta40
02-07-2011, 05:36 PM
I don't know why one thigh chafes when the other doesn't. It is not like I have rubbed the sore thigh against anything other than the thigh which isn't red. Science can probably explain it but for the time being, I can't walk to the shop without gritting my teeth. It's right up high, in the soft, sweaty folds. Honestly, is this the sort of pain I need to endure so I look like I'm out and about, a participating member of society just so the ads can perpetuate our beliefs in what 'should' be.

I don't believe it.

On my couch, its very comfy by the way, everything is at my fingertips. The remotes to the telly, air conditioning and the dvd player. To my left is an open book case. This means there are only steel frames. I slide my coffee, chocolate, yoghurt, blue cheese and crackers while I watch endless interesting stuff about the exciting lives of others. Why not? I have the time. I don't work anymore and the kids live a few thousand K's away.

Years ago, when they ran between me, around me, I prayed for this day of peace. Motherhood was like retribution for being young, sexy and on the take. Now, well, I just want peace. I've got it too. In abundance. I'm growing, I think. I mean, when I look back at what I endured, I really have grown. I can smile at the memories of raising children but that isn't who I am anymore. I know you're thinking I've gained a few pounds. I have ok? but what spills over the couch is the price I paid for motherhood. I'm done with ****ty smells. I only want pleasantness in my life now.

The smells that emanate from the bakery on my street guide me. Each morning at 8.00am I peel my bare skin from the leather and throw a towelling sack dress over my ample proportions. Have you ever noticed how much one's bones, click, creak in protest? When I was younger I was the queen handstander. I could do ballerina, walkathon, milkshake, banana splits. Now, just to raise my arms over my head, I feel a muscle straining to the point where it could tear. I have to move slower too.

Never mind, I can still walk. Once I can't, the bakery will deliver for a small fee. I shuffle, or perhaps waddle is the better term down the road to the bakery. I puff as I take each step. Legs like tree trunks. Within a few steps, I start to feel the burning in my upper thigh. It's blistering now. As the good leg sticks and unsticks to the sticky bits, I wince in the summer morning.

Just last night after my shower, I lay flat on my back naked and strained as I lifted my fat legs toward breasts that so easily slip to one side. I looked like a baby waiting to get its nappy changed. The parrafin cream was messy. I fumbled, wondering which hand was the best hand to explore down there and apply the soothing cream to the blistery area. I settled on the right but the tube was so greasy, it shot out of my left hand and hit me in the face. Finally I managed to squeeze some out. I parted the rolls of fat with my free hand and delved deeply till I found the area. So tender, weepy and super sensitive to the touch. I rubbed the paraffin in. Little circles soothed and I breathed a soft sigh of relief. Were it possible, I would lie like this all day, applying soft dabs of cream to my tender area. Alas, gravity takes it toll and it is too much to hold such a ridiculous position. By myself I could get hurt. Imagine someone else pressing down upon me, thrusting, pressing my cellulite legs into my face......I apply a few more dabs in circular motion as I contemplate this.

Now, as I grimace in pain again, I wonder why I didn't apply it before I left. Possibly because I was busy rubbing vaseline along the pendlous lengths of my loose breasts to ease the awful sweat rash flourishing under the droopy parts that spill onto my tummy. It takes time, everything takes time as I rub from the top and work my way slowly down to the peaks that no longer have a point to make.

I struggle on and hope the bakery has an apple and walnut loaf fresh out of the oven.

hillwalker
02-07-2011, 06:21 PM
Scary because this applies to so many couch potatoes in exactly that same predicament you describe so well. I'm guessing a lot of readers will skip through this and move on - too squeamish to comment or too embarrassed to admit they read it and felt good about themselves. There but for the grace of God etc. etc.

A real piece of writing - not demanding sympathy or pity. Just acceptance that this is an aspect of life too many of us skate around the edge of.

H

zoolane
02-07-2011, 06:28 PM
I like this piece because probably be this lady in years come.

MystyrMystyry
02-07-2011, 06:46 PM
Thanks for breaking the ice Hill - I read it and thought sad, but then grew to understand why, and then went to the fridge for a salami and salad sandwich, choccy cookies, dry ginger ale, chocolate icecream, and briefly felt glad I could never feel guilty about it, because it's not my problem

But again I suppose it depends on the kind of life you want to live - sitting around idle all day mulling over the past doesn't cut it for me - sitting around idle for an hour or two out of sixteen is okay, but I get restless and inadvertently or otherwise start exercising

I mean if there's a problem and you see it whether you address it or not is a start, heart attacks and getting stuck in the bath and never going to Paris - who wants that?

Sometimes I like to see my life as though I'm remembering it from the casket and how many things I've achieved - I had setbacks, too many to count, but I don't take them personally, in the same way I don't take the people around me seriously or the gift of learning too strenuously - everything in moderation, including Baker's Delight and Kilkenny Cream!!

bortleman
02-07-2011, 06:52 PM
Oh boy aging is fun. I think you did a good job of capturing years later in life. At least what they sound they might be like. I wouldn't know. Although some of the images make me a little squeamish, it added to the harsh reality we all will have to face some day.

YesNo
02-07-2011, 07:23 PM
It reads like a verbal description of one of the avatars you had recently.

So what happened to her besides a painful walk to the bakery?

everyadventure
02-07-2011, 10:22 PM
"I don't know why one thigh chafes when the other doesn't. It is not like I have rubbed the sore thigh against anything other than the thigh which isn't red"
Oh my heavens Delta, you DO crack me up!

"Motherhood was like retribution for being young, sexy and on the take."
Amen, sister! Fantastic stuff!

"When I was younger I was the queen handstander."
I love this image. Love it so much that it makes me want to grab a magazine and scissors and turn it into a collage (and yes, I shall give you a crown!)

"Once I can't, the bakery will deliver for a small fee."
Oh my oh my, my sides hurt!:smilielol5:

"Just last night after my shower..."
I do believe I could have done just fine without this paragraph!

This whole posting reminded me (uncomfortably!) of pregnancy (wherein EA is as big as a rhinoceros). You haven't mentioned how terribly you miss seeing your toes, or how problematic it is to attempt shaving your legs... but then again, maybe your belly isn't as big as mine was! :D

Delta40
02-08-2011, 08:30 AM
Ha Ha. I really enjoyed writing that one. When everything head south and fat sloshes about with every movement, one can still see their toes. They might have to roll a few rolls to one side etc but because it isn't solid like a pregnancy, its really not an issue!

I suppose it is squeamish in a way but like Hill says it is a reality which so many skate about. It highlights so much one's dependency on beauty, youth, body size.

Look where you may find yourself in 20 years (played to Jaws theme music)

lol. Thanks for everyone's comments. I might develop this into a sick monologue for the next play I compose.

PrinceMyshkin
02-08-2011, 11:42 AM
Even before I read Ea's comment, where she appears to find humour where I found nothing but pain, even before that I was somewhat puzzled by this piece. I felt there was something I was supposed to pick up on besides the very graphic physical details, but if so I didn't detect it.

Delta40
02-08-2011, 04:01 PM
Even before I read Ea's comment, where she appears to find humour where I found nothing but pain, even before that I was somewhat puzzled by this piece. I felt there was something I was supposed to pick up on besides the very graphic physical details, but if so I didn't detect it.

You didn't miss much Prince. This short piece was simply a peak into the world of an obese person. I don't think it contained pain so much as realising one's limitations like this but I agree it is not meant as a comedic piece at all.

everyadventure
02-08-2011, 04:12 PM
"it is not meant as a comedic piece at all"

Oh dear, Delta, I'm sorry then that I laughed! Understand I wasn't pointing and laughing AT the situation, but commiserating.

Delta40
02-08-2011, 04:19 PM
"it is not meant as a comedic piece at all"

Oh dear, Delta, I'm sorry then that I laughed! Understand I wasn't pointing and laughing AT the situation, but commiserating.

I don't mind EA. I get the impression you're a bubbly, upbeat gal, so your interpretation is as accurate as the next persons! :banana: