Milestones

[Jozanny]

If the moderators feel its worth it, maybe this thread should get a sticky, in order to honor the dead toward whom we might feel so compelled. I don't really feel compelled with this obituary I am listing.

I feel guilty because I don't feel much except disconcerted. My mother was best friends with the woman of the deceased, until the best friend came out. I never saw Colleen after she became estranged from her mother, though her mother came to my mother's funeral.

I feel I should contact the family, and don't know how, unless I telephone my sister and get a number, but I did grow up with this girl. We weren't friends, not really, just two unhappy girls with troubled female parents.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/delcotimes/obituary.aspx?n=colleen-a-maginnis&pid=148286241

[kasie]

Jozanny, if it's any help at all, I'd say go with your impulse and contact the family to express your condolences - you don't have to go into any details, just say that you were friends when young, that you are sorry to hear of their loss and that they are in your thoughts. I know how I felt an invisible ring of support around me when my dad died and friends we had not seen for years because he had been ill for so long came to the house or wrote and reminded us that he had once been a big, strong man, a respected colleague and a valued friend. Your remembrances of your friend could well be some of the support this family need to get them through the next few unhappy days, weeks and months. Don't ignore your initial generous impulse - follow it through.

[Jozanny]

I called my sister kasie-- but again, the last time I spoke to Colleen's mother was when I buried my own. My reaction is really based on the fact that no one ever tells me anything. Universally. If I had known the woman was terminally ill I would have done the decent thing. I was closer to the mother, and since I know things, she must be devastated.

A community obit page could be useful, however, whatever criteria we want to use for listings.