children in the blue garden

[AshRogue]

come........rolling and crawling and climbing and tumbling..are many things to see....shiny and lush...and many to touch slimy and...rush...now brother....for tomorrow is near and may not be another....the garden of our father...is full of mysteries and no one has a bother.

[zoolane]

come........rolling and crawling and climbing and tumbling..are many things to see....shiny and lush...and many to touch slimy and...rush...now brother....for tomorrow is near and may not be another....the garden of our father...is full of mysteries and no one has a bother.

Erm is this your poem, you have writing?

[AshRogue]

I am extreme of an amateur.

Sometimes, I have thoughts to share and sometimes they rhyme.
They come out in a state I can not call poem or prose.

I wish to practice writing more seriously.

Thanks for your comment :)

[deryk]

It's an interesting start. The advice I feel inclined to give you first is to arrange the formatting to appear less like an html run-on and more like something you'd find in print. Indentation works wonders for reading.(I have nothing against hyper-poetry, it just isn't something that I'd invest in, personally.) I hope that helps and thanks for sharing.