Scrubbing

[everyadventure]

Kneeling
on the wet
shine
of kitchen tile,
I find beneath my
sponge the
murky form of
self
entrapped.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I feel this owes a large part of the effect it has to the bitten-off quality of the short lines.

[blank|verse]

You're quickly becoming the Housewife's Laureate with these poems of domestic enslavement, ea! :)

It has an almost Haiku-like quality to it, and works well rhythmically; there are pairs of matching stressed phrases in both 'sections' of the poem:

Kneeling
on the wet
shine
of kitchen tile,
I find beneath my
sponge the
murky form of
self
entrapped.

[everyadventure]

Gasp! Did blank/verse like my poem? Well, he didn't hate it! Party at my house, guys!

[hillwalker]

More cryptic than your usual stuff - and in a way this makes it stand out as a really effective piece.

I especially liked the first four lines - the housewife at prayer, as it were. Yet the last two lines suggest that domesticity is as much enslavement as a labour of love.

H

[blank|verse]

Gasp! Did blank/verse like my poem? Well, he didn't hate it! Party at my house, guys!
:prrr:

But at least the floors will be clean...

[Delta40]

Very compact and yet the statement was much much bigger. Very effective EA

[Jerrybaldy]

We used to have parties on here. If you are about to revive it I will see you at yours. I will bring beer and nuts.

[qimissung]

Yes, a very haiku-like quality, one of those saying a lot in a very small, compressed space. Good one.