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angliholic
02-02-2011, 10:15 AM
Azaleas are blooming now here and there on the hill
as our Chinese New Year is coming.
I'd like to pick one and put it in your hair,
but where are you, my Echo?

I'm not Narcissus,
but I'm wasting away for the same reflection.
I shouldn't miss you so much,
for I know you're only an illusion,
but I can't help myself.
Lokasenna
02-02-2011, 10:49 AM
Very poignant!

I can't offer much by way of criticism - through brief, you have the imagery firmly in place. Effective, evocative, and neatly contained.
Delta40
02-02-2011, 05:36 PM
I like the last three lines here Ang and it is neat and compact. That narcissus is a flower as well is very clever
Jerrybaldy
02-02-2011, 05:42 PM
Hey Ang ! Glad to see your return was not a one off. Your poetry is becoming increasingly sophisticated. Get your arse back here properly and rejoin your friends here.
angliholic
07-26-2011, 08:37 AM
Very poignant!

I can't offer much by way of criticism - through brief, you have the imagery firmly in place. Effective, evocative, and neatly contained.

Thanks, Lokasenna, for the nice words and brilliant feedback. I really learn a lot from your comments.


I like the last three lines here Ang and it is neat and compact. That narcissus is a flower as well is very clever

Thanks, Delta, for the sweet comments as flowers.


Hey Ang ! Glad to see your return was not a one off. Your poetry is becoming increasingly sophisticated. Get your arse back here properly and rejoin your friends here.

Thanks, Jerry, for the welcome. I guess I'll have a lot to learn.
angliholic
07-26-2011, 08:43 AM
Hi, my dear friends,
I scribbled this note last year, and I revised it a bit this year. And here is the new edition. Feel free to correct me and give me advice.


Azaleas are blooming now
here and there on the hill
as New Year is around the corner.

I'd like to pick a pure white one
to put it in your hair, but where are you?

I shouldn't have missed you so much in the first place,
for I know you're nothing but my Echo.

And I'm not Narcissus, but I'm wasting away
for the same reflection all the same.