The Hit-man’s Day Off

[Hawkman]

He likes to relax with a nice cup of tea,
this killer of more than one hundred and three,
to each of his victims he’s given his best
except for the one with the bullet-proof vest.
A quick change of plan had resulted from this
a bomb in the loo when they went for a piss.

The Swiss though adore his replete bank account
deposits are frequent and of large amounts,
and as he sits down in his safe-house today
he tidies his rifle and handguns away,
then puts on a kettle of water to boil,
determined to savour this break from his toil.

And so with his feet up he sits in his chair
remembering murders committed with flair,
but though a success he’s no more than a ghost -
no dinner guest he, not even a host -
for friendship’s a blessing he cannot afford
not even free love from a really cheap broad.

So till the next contract he’ll stay out of sight
waiting for offers whose price is just right;
somebody famous, killed messy and bold,
or somebody secret, slain out in the cold.
A hit-man don’t care, or make any distinction,
for secrecy’s all, in the face of extinction.

[everyadventure]

Mixed feelings about this one. There are times when the rhyme plays well, effortlessly, and others where it's forced and awkward. I like the first stanza, but these lines were, well, lumpy: "The Swiss though adore his replete bank account" and "not even free love from a really bad broad" (does that even rhyme?).

Interesting topic matter, I've always wondered what a hit-man does on his day off :)

[Hawkman]

Hey ea, maybe you're taking this one a bit too seriously - lol Just a light piece of fun, but I have given it a tweak. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Live long and prosper - H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Yes, great fun - and of course one could read the "hit-man" all the way through as a stand-in for the poet on a day when he's not motivated to write anything heavier.

[Hawkman]

Hi Prince,

Actually this poem was inspired by b/v's initial response to "Hunter" and my reply saying, "...even hit men don't work all the time." This bit of doggerel was just me having a play with the thought - lol. Thanks for reading it and gracing it with a response.

Live long and prosper. H

[blank|verse]

Yes, this is the sort of poem that you seem to be able to write very quickly and easily, Hawk - and I did wonder whether this had been inspired by the comments to the other poem. Good fun, as always.

[YesNo]

for friendship’s a blessing he cannot afford
not even free love from a really cheep broad.


Very nice meter and I enjoyed the rhyme. It's very good. The only parts that didn't rhyme for me are the ones I quoted above.

[Hawkman]

Hi b/v, thanks, glad you enjoyed the fun.

Y/N glad you enjoyed it too, but i apart from the typo in the spelling of cheap (which I have corrected) I can't see why you think afford and broad don't rhyme. Are you trying to pronounce it as brode? If so permit me to enlighten you :D Afford and abroad rhyme and broad is just abroad with a missing a at the beginning.

Live long and prosper - H

[YesNo]

Y/N glad you enjoyed it too, but i apart from the typo in the spelling of cheap (which I have corrected) I can't see why you think afford and broad don't rhyme. Are you trying to pronounce it as brode? If so permit me to enlighten you :D Afford and abroad rhyme and broad is just abroad with a missing a at the beginning.

The way I pronounce them, "afford" might rhyme with "board" or "lord". But "broad" would rhyme with "gawd" or "laud" or "maud".

But it doesn't matter. I remember hearing an engineer from India tell me he would "DEV-el-up" some software if necessary. I normally would say "de-VEL-up" for "develop". At first I didn't understand what the "devil" had to do with the problem, but soon it sunk in.

Anyway, you have a very nice metrical skill. I've enjoyed your poems.