Breathless

[Jerrybaldy]

The gulls are crying just for you
the sea blows your hair to your eyes
your dress outlines your body
the rain drip drops from your nose.
You tell me you can't be happy
and I see your despair reflected
beneath the brim of your sweet straw hat.
I feel I can give you hope
and undo all that was done.
I think that I am the man
to make you feel what you can't.
I can help you feel unalone
quell the anger you feel
calm you and make all things right.
Everything will be alright my love
everything will be alright.
Your eyes look up
beneath your sweet straw hat
and I see a flash of hope
a brief moment of belief.
I take you to the beach
and you take me inside
and you cry.
We wait for an age for the sun to rise
but when the sea turns to gold
you dance like a pixie
on the seaweed and the shore.
I watch you and love you so much
I immediately think of your death.
I run to you and take your hand
and we race into the waves.
We take turns
holding each other under
in the trust of a timely
release.
I tell you quite useless
I love you
and we swim
to the island,
we imagine, we see
to the east.

[Delta40]

I tell you quite useless I love you. How poignant. As if the poem is a tapestry of good intentions, some for his benefit and others for hers. whatever the meaning, its reminds me of strength and comfort.

As always you are Jerryesque in your writing!

[everyadventure]

You know how you can tell if your love poems are any good? When the woman reading it wishes it were written about her. Oh well, I can always pretend :)

My favorite phrase: "You tell me you can't be happy
and I see your despair reflected
beneath the brim of your sweet straw hat."

Lovely imagery.

[hillwalker]

A little gushy in places - but a love poem is supposed to be like that so it's allowed.

Not sure that 'pixie' fits - it took away the romanticism for me and put me in mind of a children's fairy tale. But there's enough soppiness here to make up for that.

H :-)

[Maryd.]

Nothing wrong with Gush Hillwalker.
A beautiful heartfelt poem JB
xo

[Jerrybaldy]

Thanks Delta it was jerryesque maybe as lesser rethinking of nightswimming.
everyadventure. thanks for your kind words and nice definition of a winning love poem :)
Hello Hill. Gushy is probably a fair critique. I take comfort that Mr dark can also be Mr Gush :D
Hi Mary. As queen of romantic poetry I am always happy when I hear from you in my occasional toe dip in the sea of love.

I prefer Nightswimming. My purple patch may be over :D