The Solution.

[zoolane]

The Solution.

Swirl of my white cell in my vein.
Mixed itself with red cell of my blood.
Sting with thin sheet across my finger.
Sudden drip of the solution to floor.
The slender slice taped up with plastic fabric.

[zoolane]

The Crept.

No noise or breath wait for me here.
Lonely with cold sincere thoughts.
Bad feelings run riot over me.
The deep within the darkest.
They come crept at my feet.
Creep up very inch of my body.

[everyadventure]

A paper cut? Or am I totally oblivious?

Interesting juxtaposition of the words "cold" and "sincere;" typically antonyms but their partnership is fitting in this poem.

[zoolane]

Paper cut near right. Thank you for your comment about other poem.

[zoolane]

The Knife.

Knife that plunge deep in pink body.
Strike other blow with steel instrument.
Down with thud to tarmac.
The body with darker substance out down the drain.


The Hole.

The sole survivor I stand here.
From blood est feud.
A blaze light shone past my sight.
Pierce pain shot in my thigh.
The hole is size of one penny coin.

[everyadventure]

"the hole is size of one penny coin..." What is it about your stilted style that is so deliciously jarring? When I read your works, I often do so out loud, and the phrases seem... profound. You're definitely one of a kind, zoolane!

[hillwalker]

The first poem reminded me of having a simple blood sample taken from the finger - something so mundane yet you managed to craft an original poem from it.

'The Crept' is more sinister - the fact that you don't reveal what the threat is makes it more unnerving.

'The Knife' and 'The Hole' both somehow linked - the aftermath of a stabbing in the street??

I also thought the two lines
A blaze light shone past my sight.
Pierce pain shot in my thigh.
very effective; a kind of short-hand to the thoughts, which is how most sensations are perceived anyway.

H

[zoolane]

The first poem reminded me of having a simple blood sample taken from the finger - something so mundane yet you managed to craft an original poem from it.

'The Crept' is more sinister - the fact that you don't reveal what the threat is makes it more unnerving.

'The Knife' and 'The Hole' both somehow linked - the aftermath of a stabbing in the street??

I also thought the two lines
A blaze light shone past my sight.
Pierce pain shot in my thigh.
very effective; a kind of short-hand to the thoughts, which is how most sensations are perceived anyway.

H

First is because I cut myself with knife while chopped vegetable.
Second is just how dark feel can comsuming you or maybe creature crawl over you.
Third is about how person committing the crime might see while stabbing someone.

Fourth is about shooting last line " A blaze light shone past my sight.
Pierce pain shot in my thigh." Blaze light is the bullet pass someone, well guess rest.

[Delta40]

I do so enjoy the dark way you write about things Zoo. Your writing is so incredibly apt for it.

[zoolane]

Tunnel.

With sewage of sound escaping the tunnel.
Foul taste in the air which submerge in the atmosphere.
The breathe that utter the vague language.
Then with heavy hand slap the core of your heart.
Split your feeling in despair.
Small droplet falls.

[Alexander III]

I quite like "The Crept" is creates a evocative atmosphere and conveys the emotions well.

[zoolane]

I quite like "The Crept" is creates a evocative atmosphere and conveys the emotions well.

Thank you for comment Alexander.

Hate

Subtle beginnings where hate form.
Rumours of gossips at whispers behind their back.
The seed is plant.
Words spread like wildfire.
Hate is get out of control.
Someone hand black thing conceal in cloth.
Point at the victim.
Pretend to pull the switch.
Suddenly the hate is slump on the floor.

[zoolane]

Merits

If we are sole judge on are merits?
Who are we to decide what merits are?
To judge is be condemn to a life.
The life we chose are merits in self's.
Are merits of luxury?
Or of despair which we fall.

Merits itself is just word.
What does merits truly mean?

[Jerrybaldy]

Nice to see you back on the poems zoo. You are a unique voice on here.