After a long absence..

[paperleaves]

from the site and from poetry, I'd like to post something that has been on the backburner for a few days.


I recently returned home from an escape to the mountains in Virginia (only for a few days of course) and it really opened my eyes to the side of me that loves to write and how I have neglected her for so long!


black and blue, the moonlit sky
against the hollow abyss
pronounces our names
softly, slowly
like a snowfall at dawn.
I hear him calling
across the universe, like a long-lost lover
swollen in agony
writhing in the sheets of his bed.

I have often wondered
why great men fall
when they least expect it,
but now I know the cause.

It is the loose ends
that tear us apart.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Oh this is Paperleaves. There's no denying it!! But I don't follow the switch from "our names" to "him" so soon after, with that very particular reference to him "swollen in agony..." Is the reference to Virginia enough to clue US readers to the particular "great" man you have in mind?

The final two lines are, if I may say so, pure Paperleavsian!

[Delta40]

'man in his state of nature' scenario is always interesting to me and the wisdom at the end parallels perfectly with this nice vision.

welcome back paperleaves

[symphony]

I've missed your poems, paperleaves. :) Great to see you back.

Like the others, I too admire that ending couplet. Although I could not relate to the flow from one image to the other, I loved the imageries themselves. Perhaps I'm missing out on some background knowledge for this. Or perhaps it is indeed on your muse calling you like a "long-lost lover"... But the turn from the gentle snowfall to the sudden hard fall of great men came as little rough to me.

[paperleaves]

Thanks, all! It is good to be back. :) And yes, indeed, the transition was rough, just been a long time since I've written, but it was in reference to a muse in the second half. It felt so good to write, I can't wait to share more.

[blank|verse]

Hi paperleaves - great to have you posting again.

Like symphony stated, there are some wonderful images here, but perhaps the poem as a whole needs to flow better.

The last two lines I think deserve to be built up more in the preceding lines, so they really clinch the poem's argument.

Other than that, I'm not sure about the opening image of 'black and blue' - a description that also means someone has been beaten up and bruised, so carries violent connotations I think are out of place here. And I can't read 'across the universe' without thinking of the Beatles song of the same name.

Still, I hope this will be the first of more to come... :)

[qimissung]

What they said...but it sounds beautiful, of course! Good to see you again, little lady (say it like John Wayne would).