PDA

View Full Version : That Sort of Story



everyadventure
01-27-2011, 12:34 PM
I squinted at the small white house and double-checked the address. This had been my father’s home, but never mine. A military man, he’d lived many places before finally settling in this tidy clapboard in Nebraska. And this is where he’d stay.

There’s no way to say “I buried my father yesterday” without sounding melodramatic. But, as the brood of elderly church ladies kindly cackled, “He’s in a better place.” And, as his cronies from the diner assured me, “He had a good run!” So. There would be no drama or sentiment today, as I sorted through his things.

I pulled large, flattened boxes from the trunk of my car. Packing tape, permanent marker, Post-it notes for the furniture: I’d come prepared. I walked briskly up the drive, my practical kitten heels clicking against the cement.

I awkwardly unlocked the door with one hand and pushed my way inside. No, I wasn’t immersed in the familiar scent of my father’s cigars. I wasn’t distracted from my mission by a photo album on the coffee table. This isn’t that sort of story. It was neat, of course, but there was no other evidence to prove that this had been, in fact, my father’s home.

I quickly assembled three boxes and labeled them “donate,” “sell,” and “discard.” There would be no “keep” box. I began in the living room, tossing magazines in the “discard” box (Reader’s Digest, Outdoor Life). Clock, books, telephone: “donate.” There was a discarded gum wrapper on the end-table. I quickly popped it in my mouth and swallowed. I scribbled “donate” on Post-it notes and pasted them to the couch, umbrella stand, coffee table.

Feeling efficient, I moved to the kitchen. I emptied the fridge first (tomatoes, quart of milk, block of cheese) and then the cupboards (Folger’s, Saltines, canned ravioli). Dishes: “donate.” Ah: even the most disciplined of men still have a junk drawer. No, I didn’t find a tell-tale passport or birth certificate… no shocking evidence of a secret life. This isn’t that kind of a story. I did find pens, a phone book, paper clips (I hurriedly ate one) and receipts. “Discard.” I labeled the table set and coffee maker for the thrift-store employees.

The bathroom wouldn’t take long. I swept the contents of the medicine cabinet into the “discard” box. The countertop held mouthwash, aftershave, and toothpaste in an orderly line. I swallowed the toothpaste cap and tossed a stack of towels in the “donate” box. Almost finished.

I moved to my father’s bedroom. His bed was crisply made, his worn slippers tucked underneath. They were not poignant in their shabbiness. Definitely “discard.” His bureau: socks, briefs, handkerchiefs (does anyone still use handkerchiefs?). Folded polos, button-up pajamas: “donate.” The top of the bureau held a key ring (two keys), a dish of loose change, a lone button (I eat), and a box of tissues. The “discard” box is overflowing.

And, two hours after I began, I am finished. I brush my hands onto my skirt and stand tall. I do not take one last, long look at my father’s smoothed pillow. I exit the house, pull the door shut, and lock it. I am not filled with sorrow or longing.

I take nothing with me.

hillwalker
01-27-2011, 04:56 PM
Another fascinating piece of writing - oozing with both quality and originality.

H

bortleman
01-28-2011, 12:53 AM
I felt that the way the story was written made it very easy for me to relate to the main character. You did a great job communicating the act of cutting all ties to some one or something. It was cold and I liked it.

jajdude
01-28-2011, 08:45 AM
I liked it but since reading it a day or so ago I've wondered about why the speaker is eating objects. That makes it memorable and unusual.

everyadventure
01-28-2011, 11:10 AM
She's practical, and has determined to take nothing sentimental with her... and yet she carries out with her this small collection of items that represent her father. She believes that by refusing to succumb to her mourning, she can avoid it entirely, but her sorrow manifests in other ways.

I kept it subtle, as she herself doesn't want to acknowledge or analyze her odd behavior. I'd be curious to know if there's anyone who didn't even notice?

hillwalker
01-28-2011, 11:33 AM
I definitely noticed - and felt it a little sinister. But that's good - an original twist, and possibly portraying her way of grieving subliminally.

H

zoolane
01-29-2011, 12:43 PM
She's practical, and has determined to take nothing sentimental with her... and yet she carries out with her this small collection of items that represent her father. She believes that by refusing to succumb to her mourning, she can avoid it entirely, but her sorrow manifests in other ways.

I kept it subtle, as she herself doesn't want to acknowledge or analyze her odd behavior. I'd be curious to know if there's anyone who didn't even notice?

Her behavoiur is very practical but I am that this character have a odd behaviour in her grieve but I wonder which one?