Exit Stage 4 Cancer

[Delta40]

Tragedy is what brings us
back to what is real.
Walking along life's path
a friend asks 'how ya going?'
I discover the right answer is
'Pretty good mate! what about you?'
They just crack up crying
if I tell them I'm dying
and I feel bad for doing that to people.

Cancer is cancer.
Wherever it is lurking
in my body, it will never
be a good thing,
so does it really matter?

Yet I don't want to put
up my hand and ask the specialist,
'how long have I got left?'
What if I act like a drama queen
for the duration?

I believe we die as we live.
I have always been a drama queen
so it is better that each day
is a gift I'm fortunate to receive.

Waves and waves of chemo
roll me up into a baby ball
on my bathroom floor.
I think, 'Crap!
I'm going to die here, like this.'
How ridiculous is that?

Now, pain relief controls
the very thing I cannot control.
but who wants death to spoil our day?
What was important last night,
doesn't matter the next morning.

I can see my changing face
in the mirror.
I understand that I have gone
through life thinking my face
is who I am, who I was.

Accepting that what I personally
wish for may not be how
the final act plays out
is a step in the right direction.

It's difficult to come to terms
with the beginning of saying
goodbye but with such little time
a dose of chocolate and a sentimental film
give me more joy than I have ever known.

All the treatments, all the procedures
Done. Completed.
I have given them a shot,
ticked all the boxes.
Now I am ready to move
to the next stage.

The exit looms,
where death is relegated to the
too hard basket;
It is secret business,
as if it is something that seldom
happens to anyone.

We only get one chance to do it right.
Now is the time to stop struggling.
Embrace the moments of euphoria
For this final stage
let me
just be.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I've had cancer and found this very relatable and an excellent summation of the thoughts and feelings that go along with cancer.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Delta, this is too sad- assuming it to be factual - to comment on the aesthetics of it, but as for



let me
just be

I can't remember when you were otherwise.

[Delta40]

Delta, this is too sad- assuming it to be factual - to comment on the aesthetics of it, but as for



let me
just be

I can't remember when you were otherwise.

thanks Prince. Do you think the too sad comment is a subtle way of keeping the process of death away from the public?

[PrinceMyshkin]

thanks Prince. Do you think the too sad comment is a subtle way of keeping the process of death away from the public?

I hope that my comment won't have that effect but it wouldn't surprise me if the content of the poem does so....Nor do I think that death or any subject should be quarantined from poetry.

[hillwalker]

Context aside - its a harsh look at reality which permeates so much of your work. I thought the penultimate stanza was the most poignant without being over-sentimental.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Depressing in its realism and creating the effect in reaction to the the poem, linear to a cancer to the people.

[Haunted]

Every word smacks of realism. It's a difficult subject and you did it well.