that girl

[love-long-gone]

sweet cold steel that sting of old sorrow it goes in deep sometimes to the marrow its the pain that's the rush its the close deadly brush the scars will remind me later down the road of the horrible time through which i just strode...you see that girl? the one over there? yeah the one with long blonde hair...that's the girl the one that i love, too bad when she was in my grasp there was a shove...now i sit and watch and lose my mind get sick and wither and slowly go blind but it's okay i don't mind its just my heart that's in a bind so let me fall and ignore my calls i loved you more after all

[Delta40]

I can really feel a tune here and think I am reading lyrics to a cool song.

[hillwalker]

I suppose the message within this poem has been written a million times - but for some reason I liked the way you recycle.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

As Hill says, I got caught up in this despite the familiarity of the situation, got caught up, that is, until some of the rhymes brought me up short: particularly the "road/strode" rhyme. I mean, I know you probably never refer to striding anywhere in ordinary conversation and particularly you never "strode..." The emphasis on rhyming at whatever cost undercuts the sincerity of what's being expressed.

[AuntShecky]

If you're going to use end rhyme, perhaps it would make sense to set it off by dividing the lines as in a conventional verse. A familiarity with the guidelines for meter and rhyme would help you the next time you want to write something. Reading up on poetic techniques will provide a method for expressing yourself more effectively and artfully. You can obtain several modern books on the craft of verse-writing in any public library, and even by
doing an on-line search.

While you're at it, you might want to refresh your memory on the use of punctuation, which, rather than a random sprinkling of little marks between
words is a way of clarifying meaning.

I can't argue strongly enough that beginning versifiers should familiarize themselves with exemplary poems from the past five centuries as well as our own. That's the only way you'll know that what you want to say has already been said several times before, and many times better.

I'm sorry, but there is no easy way or fast track to writing good poetry. It took me four decades to realize that.

[hillwalker]

I'm sorry, but there is no easy way or fast track to writing good poetry. It took me four decades to realize that.

I tend to think that the key to writing 'good poetry' relies as much on being able to transform ones inspiration into something that is meaningful to other people.... and inspiration is not something one can pick up from books.

Certainly, it's true that reading other poets' work can help develop that skill, as will tightening up on punctuation, poetic form and grammar. But I'm probably one of the few on here who rarely read poetry or books on poetry - having only begun writing any 14 months ago (and it probably shows). I did however take a short Creative Writing course that was far more motivating than any 'Poetry for Dummies' guidebook is ever likely to be.

In my limited experience, if you have nothing worth saying to begin with then no matter how much time you spend perfecting your technique or studying the art form your writing will never amount to much.
But if you have the drive to write poetry and believe what you have to say might be original then don't let a lack of literary experience or grammatical correctness hold you back.

You will gain more respect if you tidy up the points Aunty has highlighted - no one enjoys struggling with poor spelling, shoddy punctuation and numerous typos. But don't let that stop you from continuing to write.

H