deathbed thoughts

[moonbird]

i am thinking about
paradoxes
parallels
paralysis
paranoia
parasitism

i am thinking about
disguise
disquiet
distraction
dishonor
disorder

i am thinking about
misadventure
misbehavior
miscarriage
miscellany
misery

i am thinking about love
i am thinking about malice
i am thinking about grief

i am thinking about life
i am thinking about death

i am thinking about
nothing at all
and yet
everything
you could ever imagine

[blank|verse]

This is strongly rhythmic with those insistent, alliterative lists that dominate the poem, which 'buttonholes' the reader very effectively.

I felt the ending was a bit weak after what had come before, but maybe this is one of those poems where you'd struggle to end it satisfactorily. I would presume that the narrator would be thinking mostly about death, so that seems the obvious place to end somehow. Maybe something like:

i am thinking about life
and the events of my own life

but mainly, i am thinking about death.

[moonbird]

Thank you for your comment. You are correct that I had some trouble finding an ending for the poem, but your suggestion is very good and I may incorperate in something similar to it.

[Jerrybaldy]

Hi Moonbird.
You tried too hard. But keep at it.
best wishes
Jerry