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AmyAlice
01-14-2011, 08:28 PM
Inspector looked at me for a moment, not surprised by my upfront attitude, but still a little taken aback.
“Well of course, I can have myself or a few officers accompany you to the crime site if you wish” replied Lestrade.
“I’d much rather Watson and I attended the scene ourselves” I informed Lestrade.
“You know that can not be done; an officer must accompany you to the scene. It is merely precaution to make sure you do not tamper with the crime scene to much, or take anything from it”.
“Lestrade, I am the famous detective Sherlock Holmes. I am a detective; I would have thought that would have given me enough authority to attend a crime scene by myself. Honestly, do you believe me capable of such an act as stealing something from the crime scene”. Lestrade looked at me, as if unsure if he should say what he was thinking.
“All the same, an office must be present with you. I’m sorry that is the protocol”. Giving up trying to get my way I said, “Ahh, if they must”. I raised myself from the chair and began to leave. As I went to close I turned to Lestrade and dismissed him, “Lestrade” I said with a nod.

We eventually arrived at the crime scene, the Thames docks. This side of London was quite the opposite of the other, full of slums, poverty and filth. It was probably not a shock to anyone that such a murder could occur here. Of course the body was long gone from the scene, but that could be attended to at another time, if even necessary. Entering the scene, to the normal eye, it looked just like an alleyway that you would except to find near the slums of London. Dirty, rubbish littering every corner, the brick chipped, missing and covered in god knows what. If there was a struggle you could never tell with all the rubbish already strew all over the place naturally.
“Where was the body found exactly?” I asked one of the officers.
“Just up there” one replied, pointing up the very end of alleyway. I walked to the end of the alleyway to inspect it, Watson following. Traces of blood where evident on the ground, garbage can knocked over with rubbish everywhere, possible the sign of a struggle, or just regular activity for this area. Looking at the wall I noticed a brick seemed to place loosely within the wall. Pulling at it, it easily removed itself from the wall. Looking at the end that had been within the wall I noticed blood all over it; a smart but risky way of hiding the murder weapon.
“What did Inspector Lestrade conclude the murder weapon was?” I yelled out to the officers standing down the end of the alleyway. After a brief period of looking at each other in though,
“Ahhh, I don’t believe he did sir” replied one of them. I smiled to myself, “no of course not” I thought to myself.
“People say I’m quite the expert in finding clues others can not, but I personally do not think this is beyond anyone’s ability to find” I said to Watson.
“Well, Lestrade is a man who tends only to look right in front of him for answers, and if it is not there he does not find it” replied Watson. I nodded and continued to investigate the rest of the scene. Looking at the dried blood, it was easy to find where the victim had obviously been laying when hit, near the largest dried pool. Kneeling down near the pool, envisioning the body lying there, I noticed a small pink hairclip in the shape of a flower. Carefully picking it up I examined it. With it being exactly where the body would have been I had to conclude that it was the victims, and due to the evidence’s nature, the victim must have been a young girl. Yelling out, once again the patience officers,
“The victim, was it a young girl, of maybe 16 or thereabouts?” The officers looked up the alley to me, astonished,
“Yes I believe so sir” replied one.
“If they knew how you knew that, I don’t think they’d be so intrigued anymore” said Watson cheekily. I smiled, but then frowned as I continued to look at the small hairclip.
“It is so horrible that someone could target such a young and innocent being, and in such a way” I remarked.
“Some people’s minds work very different to our own” said Watson.

hillwalker
01-15-2011, 02:35 PM
The first paragraph is a complete waste of your and the reader's efforts. If you take care to read it over you cannot fail to spot the awkward repetitions and realise that it has taken you 16 sentences to say "Sherlock Holmes accompanied Lestrade to the crime scene".....

It makes more sense to begin with paragraph 2. This is where you get back in your stride and the pace of the story picks up. There are a few typos but overall it's not too badly written.

H

AmyAlice
01-15-2011, 08:39 PM
I see what you mean, thanks =)