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Steven Hunley
01-13-2011, 04:07 PM
Colette’‬s Coffee
By

Steven Hunley





“I can’t think of a proper title,” I said to Toby.

He ruffled his blue feathers a bit, refusing to reply.

“And you’‬re no help at all.”

“Great, ‬the parrot won’‬t talk, ‬I’ve got no title, ‬and…”‬ I said, ‬shuffling through my houseboat pantry, ‬“I’‬m fresh out of coffee. ‬What do you say about that Toby?‬”

No reply was expected but then,
“Colette’s,” he answered with a bob of his head, “Colette’s”

“Toby, ‬you may be bird-brained, ‬but you’‬re a genius!‬”

I looked out the window noting the serious fog.

“It’s pea soup out there Toby, but my editor’s on my back. There are such things as deadlines, my fine feathered friend, in the world of humans. But maybe you’ve saved the boat.”

My rent was due, ‬my houseboat had sprung a leak and I needed money and needed it quick. ‬Fog or no fog I would trek to Colette’‬s. ‬It’‬s not that I’‬m afraid of Jack the Ripper or Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde you understand. ‬San Francisco fog isn’‬t London fog. ‬Even I know that. ‬But a girl doesn’‬t like to go out so late at night alone, ‬fog or no fog. ‬Still, ‬obligations are obligations, ‬and rent was due on my floating palace. ‬I grabbed my warmest pea coat, ‬put on my sailor’‬s hat,‬tucked in my hair, ‬and was off. ‬I’‬d do my best not to get lost.

“Jeez, it’s thick out here,” was my first impression, “I can’t see my hand in front of my face.”

The first steps were easy. ‬A left turn, ‬then a right. ‬The fog stole in. ‬Was it on little cat feet? ‬I couldn’‬t tell. ‬Then a right turn, ‬then straight. ‬The fog snuck behind me. ‬Then another left, ‬then another. ‬I was buttoning my coat up ‬a few buttons ‬farther when something behind me made a noise. ‬I turned around quickly. ‬It was only a cat, ‬pawing through overturned garbage. ‬When I turned back, ‬I finally came to a conclusion I didn’‬t want to reach. ‬I didn’‬t know where I was. ‬Regret took hold of my throat the moment I knew I was lost.

I continued to wander. ‬Time could not be measured. ‬Pilings on the docks wrapped with thick rope was all I could see. ‬The moan of the foghorn in the harbor was all I could hear. ‬It could have been ‬1800, ‬or ‬1900, ‬or even ‬2000. ‬I just couldn’‬t tell. ‬I needed a calendar or a compass badly. ‬Finally, ‬when I was ready to sit ‬down and cry, ‬I noticed a pink glow ahead. ‬I knew what it was. ‬I recognized it. ‬It was the pink neon outline of a coffee cup!

“Colette’‬s, ‬here I come!‬”

Colette’‬s is a small place run by a red-headed French woman, ‬named, (‬what else) ‬Colette. ‬I wasn’‬t just going here in hopes the coffee would give me an idea for a title. ‬The coffee wasn’t enough. ‬There was more. ‬Writers hung out here. ‬You’‬d always catch at least one. ‬If there were more, ‬then they’‬d be swapping tales, ‬complaining about editors, ‬doing re-writes or proofing. ‬They were literally a literal crowd. ‬Another thing besides coffee drew them as well. ‬Despite California law to the contrary, ‬Colette would let you smoke in the back room. ‬She got away with it because it was her private property, ‬and technically not part of the restaurant. ‬It faced the bay and had a view. ‬Seagulls ‬soared ‬overhead, ‬misty mornings and bright sunny afternoons ‬sandwiched between and warm warped wooden planks fit snug beneath your feet. ‬Splintered pilings were firmly wrapped with coils ‬of thick brown rope. ‬Fabulous California sunsets exploded ‬every evening with exquisite colors. Brass ship’‬s bells rang out the hours that never seemed to pass.This was where writers congregated. ‬I couldn’‬t blame them. ‬It was my destination too.

Colette spotted ‬me when I came in.

*“Who’s here tonight, Colette?”

“Two I don’‬t know, ‬but you I do, Ma Cherie.”

She gave me two kisses,‬ one on each cheek. ‬You know how the French are.

I walked back through the door and into the ‬cozy room. ‬Talking at a table were two men. ‬I didn’‬t know either. ‬One was sitting smoking a pipe. ‬The other, ‬just pacing. ‬The room was small, ‬making it easy to ear-hustle. ‬Considering they were talking like good friends, ‬they were an unlikely pair. ‬The one pacing was a stick man, ‬his white duck ‬trousers rumpled, ‬yet he wore a black velvet coat.

“Gee”‬ I thought, ‬“I haven’‬t seen anyone wear a velvet coat since Stevie Winwood was in Traffic.”

The sitting man was ‬stocky, ‬well built, ‬and wore a neat safari coat from Abercrombie and Fitch. ‬Sitter ‬wore a beard on his face. ‬Stander had a drooping mustache on his upper lip. ‬Stander was chain-smoking cigarettes, ‬while Sitter smoked a pipe. ‬You see what I mean. ‬They were a pair, ‬but like some socks, ‬an unmatched pair.

I must have caught their attention, ‬because they welcomed me to the place.

“You’ll like it here kid, it’s a clean, well lighted place,” said Sitter.

“Colette keeps me in quill pens and India ink, Madam,” said Stander, “and her coffee is superb.”

“Thank you both, ‬gentlemen, ‬I’‬m ‬sure I’‬ll enjoy it,”‬ I answered, ‬not telling them I’‬d been there before.

I took a nearby table and fiddled with the buttons on my coat. ‬My ear-pirate set sail the moment their conversation continued.

“So what’s it about this time?” said Stander to Sitter.

“Bob, ‬it’‬s like this. ‬An old Cuban goes fishing but has no luck at first.”

“The way you state the matter it sounds awfully weak, ‬almost consumptive,* ‬one might say.”

“You know me,”‬ he answered, ‬“I like to keep is simple.”‬

The sitter relit his pipe. ‬Stander now pacing, stubbed out his butt, ‬lit another cigarette, ‬then Sitter took a silver flask from his back pocket and emptied a couple of fingers of something into his coffee. ‬Stander took a puff of his cigarette and started coughing.
*
“You gotta ‬watch that stuff, ‬it’‬ll kill ya.”‬

“I’‬m not spitting blood quite yet Papa. ‬Yet I could say the same to you.*”

“A Scotsman telling me not to drink Irish coffee could only happen in Sausalito,”‬ said Sitter taking a sip.

“So what kind of a fish does he catch, your fisherman?” said Stander.

“Well, I dunno yet, but it’s gotta be something big.”

“How about a record breaking tuna. ‬I like tuna.”

“Naw, ‬not enough class. ‬I need a bigger battle, ‬something more dangerous,* ‬more dramatic. ‬I want him catching this fish to be real tough, ‬like it’‬s some kind of duel or something.”

“Duels are fought by dukes and princes with swords, ‬Papa, ‬not fish.*”

“I*’‬ll make it a sword fish then, ‬a fricken marlin.”

“That sounds eminently suitable.”

“Sounds good to me, ‬too.”

“At any rate, ‬what is your intent for a proper title?‬”

“How’‬s about something catchy, ‬like maybe, ‬Swordfish?‬”

“That would be much too short. ‬You need something longer, ‬it’‬s not descriptive enough.”

“Longer! ‬With you it’‬s always longer! ‬Your sentences are too long, ‬your titles too long. ‬My God man, look at your skinny self,”‬ he said looking up at him, ‬“Even you’‬re too long.*”

“Being long is just my style. ‬Your problem is, ‬Papa, ‬you’‬re too short. ‬Your sentences irritate my sensitive soul with their extreme brevity. ‬They’‬re too short, ‬too simple, ‬and in the end, ‬I put it to you old man, ‬much too declarative.”

“Can it Slim. ‬That’‬s my signature style. ‬So what’‬s your newest about?‬”

“It’‬s about a boy who gets kidnapped by his own miserly uncle.”

“Sounds weak Bob. ‬Sounds weak.”

Circles of smoke swirled all about them and floated up to the ceiling.

”Well, they wander all over the Scottish highlands in the rain Papa, in the rain!”

“Do they go on a boat? ‬I like it when they go on boats.”

“Yes, ‬as a matter of fact, ‬they do, ‬at times, ‬go on a boat.”

“Do they fish? ‬I like it when they fish.”

“Well I don’‬t think…”

“Well, ‬do they bullfight? ‬I like it when they bullfight.”

“No, ‬they most definitely do not bullfight. ‬The story occurs in the highlands of Scotland Papa, ‬now how can I have them bullfight?‬”

“Oh yeah, ‬I forgot. ‬So what are you gonna call it?‬”

“I was thinking of using ‬The Marvelous Adventures of David Balfour, ‬who, ‬in the Dangerous Highlands of ‬Scotland, ‬was Kidnapped.*

“Too long Bob. ‬Too long!‬”

They were getting so loud that Colette had to step in.

“Mes amis,”‬ she announced, ‬“You must place a bet. ‬Let fate decide. ‬I flip a coin. ‬Whoever wins decides the other’‬s title and he must make do with that.”‬ She pronounced it zat, ‬you know how the French are.

“However,”‬ she hesitated, ‬“if it lands on my side of the coin, ‬I choose.”

Then I spoke out.

“Since there are only two sides to a coin, ‬let her. ‬Besides, ‬it’‬s her coin.”

Colette looked at me and winked.

“It’s a deal.” said Papa.

“I would be more than happy to accede to the lady’s wishes,” Bob said, with a bow and flourish.

Colette reached into her bosom and produced a twenty dollar gold piece,* ‬and tossed it in the air.

Someone called, ‬“Heads,”‬ but it really didn’‬t matter who.

Stevenson watched it turn in mid-air. ‬The golden glint from the coin reminded him of a peg-legged pirates’‬ treasure hidden on an island.

A gold dubloon.

Hemingway watched it spinning. ‬To him, ‬the shine on its surface was the reflection of late afternoon sun hitting a bullfighter’‬s sword in the ring at Pamplona.

The moment of truth.

It flipped and flipped and flipped. ‬It flew up to the rafters then down to the wooden floor. ‬But when it hit, ‬it bounced, ‬landed on its edge, ‬rolled a bit, ‬then became wedged ‬in a crack and stood firmly ‬edge up, ‬on its side.

Although the two were ill-matched as a pair they were twins finally in one thing, ‬they now both had eyes the size of plates, ‬not saucers.

‘Voila!” Colette squealed, “I shall have my way! You Monsieur, will choose his title, and you monsieur, his!”

It was then that both of them, ‬being men of the world, ‬knew they’‬d been bested.

“O.K. Bob,” Sitter said. “What’s it gonna be?”

“Make it The Old Man and the Sea, ‬since that is what it’‬s primarily about”

But that’‬s the longest title I’‬ve ever used!‬’’ he whined. ‬“It’‬ll never sell!‬”

“You have only to try Papa, ‬so try.*”‬

“Now, ‬how about you?‬” said Colette to Sitter. ‬“It is your turn to decide.”

“You make it ‬Kidnapped, ‬Bob, ‬just plain, ‬Kidnapped, ‬that’‬s all.”

“But that will be my shortest title yet,”‬ he sobbed. ‬“Will my readers know it’‬s me?‬”

“That’‬s for you to find out Bob.”‬

My coffee was finished. ‬I pushed the cup away and slid out of the chair. ‬I turned to Bob.

“I’m taking my leave Bob, thank you ever so much.”

“I was a pleasure to meet so charming a girl, ‬but if you must leave, ‬fair lady, ‬Adieu.”

Then I turned to Papa.

“See ya’ Pops. I’m outa here.”

“See ya kid.”

“But,”‬ said Colette. ‬“Don’‬t you need a title too?‬”

“I’‬m fine ‬now,”‬ I sang. ‬“I’‬ve finally got it.”

“What’‬s that, Ma Cherie?‬”

“Why, ‬Colette’‬s Coffee, ‬what else?‬”

Delta40
01-13-2011, 05:29 PM
amusing piece Steve. Almost an exercise in how to find a title for the story you've yet to write and in the process you produce another tale! You always write with such a readable flow. I especially liked your description of the fog - SF fog compared to London fog and how it stole in on little cats feet.

Jack of Hearts
01-13-2011, 05:50 PM
C'est ne pas 'mon cheri'. C'est 'ma cherie' parce que elle est une femme.

Or so the reader is led to believe. He believes the narrator is a female because:


But a girl doesn’‬t like to go out so late at night alone, ‬fog or no fog.

In the romance languages there is gender to consider in grammar (French the same as Spanish, which is perhaps more local to you).

Nitpicky, to be sure. This a story about Robert Louis Stevenson and Ernest Hemingway. Stevenson was dead half a decade before Hemingway was born so it is a fantasy that they could ever meet (much less in contemporary San Francisco).

Is it the fog that allows such a time-warp to occur? And of the narrator's time and place the reader cannot be certain- though it certainly has house boats, coffee shops and parrots. Perhaps she is the future incarnation of the next generation of great writers.


“You’ll like it here kid, it’s a clean, well lighted place."

There are certain similarities between this story and 'A Clean, Well Lighted Place.' This piece is chock full of literary references. If anyone ever wondered how some of these authors' better known pieces got their title, you offer an amusing explanation. There is also comparison between these two author's styles in their interactions and exclamations.

A continuation of your style, which seems to be casual but then not in use of references (considering this reader's last review of a piece of yours, "Torrey Pines"; the two of us were not on equal footing in terms of knowledge of rock history and so much was lost in the reading). It's a quirky piece and interesting decisions were made. For all intents and purposes the narration, as it's framed now, is mostly unnecessary in that you needn't have another character narrate this from the first person perspective to deliver most of the piece. But clearly it's a stylistic choice and this reader will see it as a fair call this time around.

As with most of your pieces, this particular reader has a hard time critiquing them- they are not his standard reading. The suggestions his mind is most ready to make are ones that would perhaps destroy your style entirely and that is what he means by providing an unfair critique. Your stuff is all your own.



J

qimissung
01-13-2011, 10:55 PM
I enjoyed the literary references and trying to figure out where this was going. I particularly liked that you were writing about writing, so to speak.

I do have two questions: first, is the Collette in this story referring to the French writer, Collette? And is the title in reference to a real story?

Steven Hunley
01-14-2011, 12:27 AM
To Jack of Hearts, Mais oui! My high-school French fails me! I 'll make the necessary adjustments! Thank you!

And yes, Colette! I was led to her by something I read about Stevenson.

She was a member of the Belgian Royal Academy (1935), president of the Académie Goncourt (1949) (and the first woman to be admitted into it, in 1945), and a Chevalier (1920) and a Grand Officier (1953) of the Légion d'honneur.

She wrote many novels but is hardly in our library here in L.A.

The coffee bit I just made up. I just wanted to point out that you can tell a story in so many ways, no matter your style, as long as you tell it well.

Thank you both. I try to hide little bits, like "the fog crept in on little cats feet." That's paraphrasing Carl Sandburg, isn't it? I like my readers to dig. Then the ones who bring more to the table are always rewarded. (I hope)

Then we all share in the feast, both writers and readers, back and forth, a dialogue. All appetites, satisfied.

Grit
01-14-2011, 02:36 AM
I found this piece amusing. I noticed it really built as it went on, at least for me. I found the ending particularly clever. I felt a total completeness, as if things had come full circle, which is impressive considering the content.

I must profess that reading this piece phased me. It's sophisticated, subtle and cultured. I would be most lucky to write something like this.

I thought it was fitting and a good decision to call the two men Bob and Papa. They were added a whimsical tone for me. I also thought the dialogue was very well handled, and flowed smoothly.

I don't know where to start offering advice for this piece so I won't. A good read, with a very clever ending and a satisfied feeling of completeness at the end.

hillwalker
01-14-2011, 11:04 AM
The term 'playful' springs to mind - playing with your readers and their knowledge (or lack) of contemporary and not-so-contemporary literature.

And the line My ear-pirate set sail the moment their conversation continued. is strikingly original.

My only problem was with the main character. At first I thought she was a he - the dialogue between her and Toby not quite slushy enough for a lady bird-fancier imo. But then she put on her sailor's hat and I was doomed..... to picture none other than Popeye in all 'her finest plumage'

H

Chilly
01-14-2011, 10:30 PM
The Stevenson of your story seems to have ended up changing his mind since the full title of kidnapped is
"Kidnapped: Being Memoirs of the Adventures of David Balfour in the Year 1751: How he was Kidnapped and Cast away; his Sufferings in a Desert Isle; his Journey in the Wild Highlands; his acquaintance with Alan Breck Stewart and other notorious Highland Jacobites; with all that he Suffered at the hands of his Uncle, Ebenezer Balfour of Shaws, falsely so-called: Written by Himself and now set forth by Robert Louis Stevenson."
I guess it's part of the joke though.