I Won't Forget

[Big Dante]

Okay guys, I've decided that I am going to give writing poetry a go so I have written a couple of things, trying to mix up the styles and forms of poetry. This is the second poem I've written in my life and feedback and suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)



I Won’t Forget

The days keep on going by,
Yet I sit here on my own,
What does power really mean to me?
Seated on my worthless throne.

One meaningful thing in my life,
Impossible to replace,
The unparalleled beauty,
Yet gone without a trace

Her touch, laugh and smile,
Don’t forget her giving ways,
One second in her presence,
Ten years left in a daze.

The skies don’t seem so empty,
Knowing she’s smiling down at me,
I smile back at the heavens,
Overjoyed, so happily.

The greatest part of my life,
From the very day we met,
Both us knowing that,
Her I won’t forget.

[Delta40]

I think the sentiments here are loud and clear Dante. I personally find that rhyming does not necessarily make a poem though and sometimes the focus of rhyming can detract from what you really want to say. I'm no expert but try writing it from your heart and think less about the technical side and see if it enhances your message.

[qimissung]

This was very touching and quite well done. As Delta pointed out you don't want your work to get to rhymy (:D), and I say that as someone who had difficulty rhyming at all.

Just write a lot and find your voice and what moves you, and you'll be fine.