Blind Date

[Hawkman]

The face in the mirror looks ok to me
but then I’m used to it. I’ve known it all my life,
and I’ve grown into it, barely noticing
as the crows left their footprints
in the skin around my eyes,
and the brown of my hair
slowly faded into grey.
But then there’s the beard.
Yes, it’s a bit two-tone,
now I come to look at it,
although it’s neatly trimmed,
and confined beneath my nose and chin.
Avuncular, that’s how I seem,
pointless really, all romantic dreams.
And even if we get along,
at evening’s end,
with that awkward moment
as we stand outside her door,
I’ll settle for a peck upon the cheek
and nothing more.
I wonder what she looks like?

Oh my God! What am I going to wear?
Should I put on sexy undies that’ll only make him stare,
or settle for the comfort of a less flamboyant pair?
Oh hell, look at my hair!
Why should I spend hours preparing?
I know he just won’t care!
I’ll just watch his eyes - face, tits, legs;
he’ll take moment’s to decide,
before mentally undressing me
and grading my backside.
Sod it! I’ll do sexy, and then I’ll play it cool,
an air of unattainable, just to make him drool.
It probably won’t matter to him what I try and say -
he won’t be listening to me anyway.
He’ll do all the talking while attempting to be witty -
I hope I don’t forget to tape Sex and the City.
Shall I wear the blue, it’ll make me seem more cool,
or shall I wear the red –
Oh god, how I wish I were dead!
Why did I allow them to persuade me into this?
I bet he’ll want to grope me and bestow a sloppy kiss.
Just how old exactly, is he, this ‘mature guy’?
I may be nearly forty (though admit to thirty-five)
but I wouldn’t want to date my dad – Oh, damn!
Now I’m going to cry.

Will she be pretty?
Is he a goat?

Why not enjoy it –
You’re in the same boat.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Wonderfully poignant! But if they're both "in the same boat" how is it that the oars of the one rhyme while the other's do not?

It's too dramatic a difference for me to take it as no more than one more difference in their personalities: e.g., he has a beard; she's wearing her 2nd-best underwear...

[hillwalker]

A brilliant piece H about the battle of the sexes where each is almost resigned to waving the white flag - particularly loved the aside about remembering to tape 'Sex and the City'.

As for the stylistic differences - a masterstroke in indirect characterisation.

H

[AuntShecky]

Dear "Uncle" ("avuncular") Hawkman,

This is a brilliant piece of social satire, depicting a couple of present-day narcissists who undoubtedly met on an online dating site, a "dude" and a "chick" indisputably "made for each other."

Gad, are all of us becoming as vapid and shallow as these two? If so, Lord help us all!

Yours,
Aunt Shecky

[anzki4]

When I began reading this poem, my mouth turned to smile that grew wider as I continued - and in the end, my smile was pretty wide. Thank you for this. When I had finished it though, I started to think of it, and found a meaning for it. Nice work!

-A4

[Delta40]

I think the contrast in writing styles helps to accentuate the difference in thought patterns

[Hawkman]

Wonderfully poignant! But if they're both "in the same boat" how is it that the oars of the one rhyme while the other's do not?

It's too dramatic a difference for me to take it as no more than one more difference in their personalities: e.g., he has a beard; she's wearing her 2nd-best underwear...

Hi Prince. The reasons are many and varied, I'm afraid. Far too plentiful, in my mind at least, to enumerate. I leave it to the reader to find what nuances they can in the piece. I'm glad you found it poignent though :D


A brilliant piece H about the battle of the sexes where each is almost resigned to waving the white flag - particularly loved the aside about remembering to tape 'Sex and the City'.

As for the stylistic differences - a masterstroke in indirect characterisation.

H

Thanks hill, glad you enjoyed it.


Dear "Uncle" ("avuncular") Hawkman,

This is a brilliant piece of social satire, depicting a couple of present-day narcissists who undoubtedly met on an online dating site, a "dude" and a "chick" indisputably "made for each other."

Gad, are all of us becoming as vapid and shallow as these two? If so, Lord help us all!

Yours,
Aunt Shecky

Hi Auntie, Well I certainly wouldn't argue with the implied narcisism - lol. However, this date was not born out of internet chatter. As for dating sites, I have absolutely no idea how they work. Perhaps I'm a bit old fashioned but the scenario I had in mind was far more traditional. You might note that the female narrator specifically says:

"Why did I allow them to persuade me into this?"

I had imagined a date arranged by mutual friends between a couple who had no prior knowledge of each other at all. Maybe he's a widower, maybe she's a divorcee, and neither really wants it, but both have been talked into it by people who can't imagine that individuals can exist contentedly in isolated solitude. I can just hear them in the background emphatically affirming that "She's just your cup of tea," and "He's right up your street!"

Actually this has given me an idea for a short story. If i ever get round to writing it you'll find it in the approriate strand lol.


When I began reading this poem, my mouth turned to smile that grew wider as I continued - and in the end, my smile was pretty wide. Thank you for this. When I had finished it though, I started to think of it, and found a meaning for it. Nice work!

-A4

Anzki, long time no see. Nice of you to drop by. I'm very glad you enjoyed this one and that it gave you a smile. Thanks for reading and letting me know you had.


I think the contrast in writing styles helps to accentuate the difference in thought patterns

Hi Delta, and thanks for reading and commenting. Hope you enjoyed it.

Again thanks to you all. Live long and propser - H

[Bar22do]

You get better and better.
Your poem prompted me to imagine a reassuring course of events (you'll have to forgive my lack of refinement):

Though he's not a flop,
fear gnaws at his bone,

while wearing her top-
coat, she sets the tone.

Without prejudice
life is a delight -

she'll give you a kiss,
it'll be alright!

At the Friendship Inn,
no risk of tailspin!

:wave::wave: from afar,
:wave::wave: be well, Bar

[Hawkman]

Sweet Bar,

What a delightful response! A very nice little poem which tells us that:

Everthing's for the best, in the best of all possible worlds - :angel: :lol:

Live and be well, H

[blank|verse]

An enjoyable poem, Hawk, with some nicely observed details, but perhaps straying a bit too close to stereotyping?

I liked how the 'peck' on the cheek picked up the earlier 'crow's feet' image in the first stanza; and can see how the more melodic, rhymed second stanza works to reflect the female character and think that's a nice touch.

But I think there's more that can be said than concluding one a cliche (both 'in the same boat'); I liked that more thoughtful element you introduced into the poem about the Wren (?) reading her old war-time letters, and felt something similar would have been good here just to lift the poem somehow.

Anyway, it reminded me of 'Future Dating' by Joe Dunthorne (from Faber New Poets 5), which begins:


Sat along rotating laminate benches,
we wear scrolling badges that display:
Name – Favourite thing – Emotional state.
I am Joe – Money – Anxious
as Porcia – Old buildings – Extraordinary
swivels into view with art deco
cheekbones, sky-rise posture.
She speaks in intricate structures
with witty stucco asides
and is either marriage material
or a one-off demolition-f--k
in a room full of Lego.

[Hawkman]

Hi b/v and thanks for the comment. To be completely honest that ending was a bit of a cop out. Originally I intended to describe the entire evening but it took so long to write I just couldn't maintain the concentration! Besides, it would have been a very lengthy poem, probably too lengthy.

The Dunthorne poem seems to be describing the phenomenon of speed dating, which I have heard of, :D but never experienced. It appears to be an Exchange & Mart attitude to personal relationships, a 'mix and match' groin exchange for people who can't be bothered to spend time with eachother, because they are obsessed, both with themselves and making money! Interestingly, the idea was sort of played with in the Science Fiction story Logan's Run, when Jessica5? put herself, on the circuit to be picked for sex. That must be nearly 40 years ago now, a vision of a future which has come true?

I think his poem captures the spirit of the phenomenon very well.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. Best, H

[firefangled]

I really enjoyed this one, Hawk. Your portrayal of both man and woman being nervous and a bit insecure about the evening is most likely the truth most often.

The difference in style between the two stanzas worked very well I thought.

Have you ever seen the movie "Blind Date" with Bruce Willis, Charles Groden, and Kim Basinger. Hilarious!

[qimissung]

Very enjoyable and witty! You captured so well these two distinct voices.The same situation could apply if they'd met online. It's very similar to a blind date, after all.

They don't seem narcissistic to me. He seems much more accepting of himself and the situation than she does, and that does seem to mimic real life. I would hope that women would grow out of being so hard on themselves and having expectations that are a bit too high, but maybe not.

[Hawkman]

Hi ff, Thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yes I did see the movie, which was great fun. Whatever happened to Ms Bassinger, I wonder - She doesn't seem to have made a film for ages! Mr. Willis still seems to be in demand though.

qim, Hi and thanks for reading. Well, not being a lady of a certain age, I did rather let the imagination run riot. :D A portrait based on overheard snatches of conversation over the years, and all combined in one character, which is why she sounds a bit schitzoid.

I would have thought that people who met online would have built some kind of relationship with each other before agreeing to meet in person. Surely an idea at least of personality through correspondance, and probably an exchange of photographs, even if they were out of date!

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed my little satire.

May you both live and be well. - H

[qimissung]

It's just that would not have met in person, and one is bound to be a little anxious about a first meeting.

[Bar22do]

The first line of your poem brought to my mind the following... hope you like it, I do!


The Mirror


I look in the mirror

And what do I see?

A strange looking person

That cannot be me.



For I am much younger

And not nearly so fat

As that face in the mirror

I am looking at.



Oh, where are the mirrors

That I used to know

Like the ones which were

Made thirty years ago?



Now all things have changed

And I'm sure you'll agree

Mirrors are not as good

As they used to be.



So never be concerned,

If wrinkles appear

For one thing I've learned

Which is very clear,



Should your complexion

Be less than perfection,

It is really the mirror

That needs correction!!



Edmund Burke, 1729 - 1797, Irish Philosopher.


Best to you, oh hawk! Bar

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[Hawkman]

qim, thanks for the thought :D

Sweet Bar, Who am I to argue with the wisdom of so noble a sage? As he and I seem to be pondering on the same knotty topic, does this make me a philosopher of equal worth? - lol. Thanks for posting it, it's a Gem!

Live long and prosper - H