Wings of a Butterfly

[iPenguin]

Be sure to have the courage in you, I told him,
The courage to crush the wings of a butterfly
The gentleness to kiss the lips of aggression
And emerge victorious.

Forget the beauty of a placid pond, I implored,
You must hurl the mossy stone with the fear of falling
With frictionless fingertips, you will watch it fall
And stroke the wings of a butterfly.

You will find the gossamer noose, I warned him,
Around your neck, and you will cut your fingers
On the wings of a butterfly, and it will struggle
But you must not let go.

With the wings of a butterfly, I whispered somberly
As he turned and walked away,
You will fan the flames, you will perish among the ashes
You will feel the heat of oppression

But they cannot stop the ripples
Or crush the wings of a butterfly.

[hillwalker]

Interesting piece - and some original turns of phrase.

I'm not sure you really need 'I told him', 'I implored' and 'I warned him' at the end of the opening line in each of the first 3 verses. They only manage to break the flow (quite disastrously) and add nothing to the poem.

But I can see 'I whispered sombrely' in v4 is necessary in order that the following line makes sense. And on its own it's less distracting.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm not sure that I understand this (or even whether the advice is sincere or facetious) but it does have an authority and a sureness of pacing that is hard to resist.

[iPenguin]

The "I told him" etc, was meant to be a motif or sorts, a kind of refrain-like repetition which anchors and provides structure to the poem, as well as maintaining the idea that the narrator is telling this to someone other than the person to whom he gave this advice.

As an insight, the title of the poem is a key to the meaning of the poem, although I'll rarely say my poems have one single meaning.

[hillwalker]

The "I told him" etc, was meant to be a motif or sorts, a kind of refrain-like repetition which anchors and provides structure to the poem

I gathered that - I just felt it hindered the flow (and one can easily ascertain that this is being spoken to another person). But it was just an opinion, and you should stick to your guns.


As an insight, the title of the poem is a key to the meaning of the poem, although I'll rarely say my poems have one single meaning.

Well, I was put in mind of chaos theory and the 'butterfly effect' on first reading. But as you say, each reader's interpretation can be different and indeed changes with fresh readings.

h