Memory

[MystyrMystyry]

So far ago
So long from home
The dreambright
Green of fields
After the rain
But the cold
The hunger
The loss
But I had to run
Away as long and
Far as I could
To escape
Their clutches
But now
I wondered if
They were even
Searching
At least
Following
My trail of fresh
Blood
Or if they knew I was
Lost alone and tired
Among the
Blackberries and
Thorns
Scratched to ribbons

Would I ever be found?

[YesNo]

It sounds as if you want to escape except for the last line where you wonder if you would be found. I don't think you want to be found, but I'm not sure.

I found the flipping of "far ago" and "long from home" interesting.

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou YesNo :)

[Jerrybaldy]

The last lines gave it life. such short lines can alieanate but yours were longer lines cut that way. never read anything by you that I didnt enjoy.

[Revolte]

Wonderfully unsettling. I dig that kind of stuff, you know?

However I'm kind of confused by this:

"But the cold
The hunger
The loss
But I had to run"

It kind of cuts off when it gets to the second "but". I'm thinking I'm missing something from the lines previous to the first but.

[kittypaws]

I see lost in love, or a love you sought.
just my read.

"Far as I could
To escape
Their clutches"

who are they? this poem seems to be pointed to a special someone, perhaps to be her clutches?

hey! what do I know? I found your poem deep and I enjoyed it.

hugz~~~~
kittypaws

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks JB :)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Revolte :)

Those lines confused me at first when I re-read it the other day. Some poems just take some deciphering I guess - even our own ;)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Kitty :)

I hadn't noticed that interpretation, but it wasn't the intention.

Actually it was originally a sci fi story, but I cut out all the sci fi bits for some reason, can't recall why - perhaps they were bad? Perhaps I was going to put them in another poem? I really can't remember now, but I'll get back if and when it comes to me

[Pensive]

I like the depression, the desperation...

[Bar22do]

Lost (alone) and tired
Among the
Blackberries and
Thorns
Scratched to ribbons

mirrors almost to perfection this reader's state of mind... some of your poems uncover your delicate sensitivity...

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Bar22do :)

Get well soon

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Pensive :)

[aliengirl]

How come I missed this? Short lines seem to be spoken by a haunted child (or is it a hunted one) exploring the depths of alienation.

Glad I found it before it was lost in the multitudinous sea of new posts. :)

[Maximilianus]

This poem caused a chain reaction. It first reminded me of the movie Alien vs. Predator, especially when a character mentions the "hunter's moon." And then that took me to the song The Spell by Kamelot; particularly the last stanza that reads:

I get stronger in the splendor
of a lucid moon
only creatures of the night
can heal my wounds


Am I getting moony! http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_rockin.gif http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_see_stars.gif :)


So far ago
So long from home
Interesting linguistic twist http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/ok.gif

[MystyrMystyry]

Thankyou Alien Girl :)

[MystyrMystyry]

Thanks Max :)

[Maximilianus]

Welcome Mystyr. I hope you keep writing :)