Christmas tree

[klatch]

that bristling pine was chopped and manicured with axes to fit in this living room
and it is wrapped and constricted in bulbous incandescent orbs radiating unnatural colors

so it sits in the corner like a glamorous and sedated beast
glowering silently at the leather sofa with one cushion



The lofty limbs of the tree hang still; unswayed by cold and piercing alpine wind
It is anchored by twinkling or dull balls or figurines, perhaps in strings, and festooned
s por a d ica ly

so it stands as a dressed-up and reluctant totem
disemboweled and rationed tap water

[Dark Muse]

This reminds me of a poem I wrote last year. I quite enjoyed it, some powerful imagery. I really love the perspective you offer here. Such a great concept. Love the bleakness.

[hillwalker]

I love the idea of a tree captured, tamed and forced to live out a bleak existence next to a 'leather sofa with one cushion'. One can sense the shame.

The images of a 'sedated beast' - longing for the touch of 'alpine wind' - and resembling a 'reluctant totem' are very evocative.

I feel it could be improved, however, by a little more pruning.

'so it sits' at the start of line 3, and 'so it stands (as)' line 7 are contradictory, and neither phrase is really necessary (take them out and the poem still makes sense).
Also 'of the tree' in line 5 is superfluous and inhibits the flow. Again, chop it out and the line still makes perfect sense.

So, an enjoyable piece; and refreshingly original given the amount of festive gush/slush certain writers feel they have to inflict upon us at this time of year.

H

[klatch]

Thanks for the compliments guys! And for the pointers hillwalker, the poem would flow better with those bit taken out.

I don't mean to look like a complete cynic in this poem. I just enjoy creating that kind of imagery.

[YesNo]

that bristling pine was chopped and manicured with axes to fit in this living room

I suspect people doing this often would likely use a chain saw or circular brush saw rather than an axe. I've only needed a hand saw in the past since the tree must be small enough to fit into the room.

But an artificial tree is the way to go. Less mess and hopefully less bad karma coming from the tree slowly dying in the corner.

You did describe the horrors of this experience from the tree's perspective well. The turkey or pig on the table might also have a similarly negative view of the Christmas holiday.