The Un-living

[Delta40]

On the bullhorn of supposition
you spout off rationale
to a crowd who cheers,
Yo! another highbrow spastic
You flaunt to mice and men
pageant queen knowledge
of shallow profundity.
The essence of your being
lacks meaning in practical terms,
yet you are driven to
gnash up tufts of dogmas
so you can bark them out
like amplified doctrines
as your float of self-importance
rumbles past toward the land of Un.
Crowds splutter in your clouds
of conjecture and exhaustive propaganda.
They throw streamers of happiness
as you postulate righteousness.
While people live, laugh and love,
you excel in the theory
of your own bookish relevance.
You pass the living and arrive
at the gates of Un,
where your existence is revealed
to be nothing more than
a hypothesis for dummies.

The crowd cheers yet another
highbrow spastic through.

[hillwalker]

This poem spits vitriol like some twisted, mythical beast woken from its sleep - half harpy, half dragon.

I can't imagine who has upset you enough to write this but she (or he?) had better watch out.

H

[Transmodernism]

First, let me get the negative over with. There are a few spelling discrepencies ("propoganda" and "reavealed").

But I really enjoyed it. :thumbs_up

What I liked most was the sarcastic, satirical tone. I've been reading the works of Alexander Pope, who lambasted his enemies vitriolically with heroic couplets; today that sort of satirical poesy is considered old-fashioned. But I loved this more modern-style satire. The imagery of the float and pageant queen immediately paint the un-living as comically bombastic and pretentious. These Un-living, if I understand you correctly, are the compulsive philosophizers, the persons so stuck in theorizing that they fail to live. In a word, Laputans.

I felt that you did a great job of giving a sense of the slow progress of the "float of self-importance" past the living "to the gates of Un."

I looked up "spastic," and discovered that it means "a person suffering from cerebral palsy" or "an incompetent or uncoordinated person."

The only substantive constructive criticism I have is that the poem might benefit from even more bombastic, satirical imagery. The float worked really well for me, and even more images might help drive the point home even more effectively.

[Delta40]

lol. this poem is otherwise known as an exercise in anger management

[Delta40]

You're probably right. I wrote it quickly as it was burning to escape. I could add to its imagery, if I so chose.

Thank you both for your comments.

[Jerrybaldy]

my money is on uncle fester..

[Delta40]

It really is aimed at a collection of events that have happened this week, some of which have irked me but alot to do with not dealing with anger at the time. I hate storing that stuff...

[Jerrybaldy]

Just chuck your dirty laundry right at us ...

[Delta40]

*throws a sweaty, smelly sock at Jerry*