Mind Exhaust

[Jack of Hearts]

Mind Exhaust
A Collection of Things that Come Out When the Author is Making Other Things




1.Overly Practical 'Four Letter Word That Begins With L' Letter

Dear -------,

This is really embarrassing. Someone told us a lie. Someone told us there was enough love to go around and yet, as we speak, there are plenty of people dying out there of a broken heart- but not as many as those who are dying to be dying of a broken heart.

Which is the reason why I've called this meeting here today. I would have at least enjoyed trying it. Look, I'm a realist, it wouldn't have gone anywhere. Nothing lasts forever, least of all our silly fumbling and poking each other. Maybe we could have played house for a minute and you could have alleviated some deep Freudian nightmare within me- my mother didn't hug me enough or she hugged me too much and now I need female affection like a crack fiend needs a fix.

I definitely felt lust. That's a four letter word that begins with 'l'. Maybe I could say "I am in love with you" and really mean "I am in lust with you" and we both could secretly know it.... that way I wouldn't be a liar and you'd still hear what you'd want to hear. Do you understand how much work that is? I should just lie, I'd be doing you a favor.

Now I won't get the chance to lie to you, play make-believe with you or objectify you by treating you as device of my own mal-adjusted psyche. You're gone and that's that. You never even gave me a chance. Sure, you smiled at me, twirled your hair, talked to me endlessly about your personal life and mentioned that you were, in fact, single... but what's a guy supposed to do with all that? There was no golden opportunity to make my move, which consists of letting you declare your love for me so that I might not risk losing face by showing anyone that I think you could be an interesting person. Now that you're gone I wish you were uglier. Damn, you were hot, and you're going to have no problem finding some other guy to do what I want to do to you. That really bugs me for some reason.

Signed,
Me

P.S. Seriously, this is your last chance with me. You're blowing it.

[Jack of Hearts]

2. Spelunking with hillwalker

I descended first and carved arrows on the cave wall. Why for Christ's sake would you follow me? I only asked as I needed a learned man; I sensed it was valuable but know Jack-**** about things.

When you got to the entrance I was long in the depths where solitude and darkness had made me strange. You followed the arrows until they showed unclear- drawn unclear by growing strangeness. Stopped at a domed antechamber which presumed dead end, glittering crystals stuck hard in worthless earth. Your voice resonated honest and clear and admired what you could, sparse beauty, but the ugly earth was not exonerated, thick and uninspired.

I screamed upward that I was deeper, ran back, called for you to wait. Tugging at your sleeves now, the last narrow caverns to the main chamber.

We got there. You saw.


Turning with a kind pat you waved for me to ascend. Such was the confusion of your gentle nature

'In a minute,' I lied.

As soon as my fatigue passes, and if the sickness quiets a moment...

Deeper.

[hillwalker]

I'll admit, the only spelunking I've done is within the chasms of LitNet, the darker and gloomier the better.

I sense your fervent, exploratory mind at work here - not so much a case of 'not waving but drowning' but more of 'if I dig deep enough I'll get myself out of this hole'.

I'm not sure that you need my comments on these polished pieces, but thanks for the pleasure of a diversionary read.

H

[Jack of Hearts]

3. Composing-on-My-Mobile-Device Blues

Mah mo-beel dee-vaz, she ez like uh wuh-mon.

One must cuh-rez shauntly, flick ze right butt-ons.

Per-aps ze little neeble 'ere- butahdeegrus!

Qu'est que c'est? Je ne dit rien... comment-

Parce que je ne utilise jamais mon mobile!

A-hum.

Ah ews ma mo-beel souvent.

But she ez uh cruel mees-truss!

[Jack of Hearts]

4. Purgatory

I am in hell.
I feel that old drying up coming on.
That kind where I go a year without-
well you know what.
This next piece is coming easier than the other piece.
But it's so technically sophisticated
(grammatically speaking).
I could be messing up.
I'm learning a hell of a lot
about things like 'lie' and 'lay'
and present simple and present progressive.
I hope it is understood.
It's so important for the piece
that it be understood.
I feel like drawing a blue print
for whoever reads this
(if I ever finish)
but that would be
spoiling it.

Yes;
I know Hell
and Purgatory
aren't necessarily
the same thing
Dinosaurus.

[Jack of Hearts]

5. I Cheat

I cheat;
whenever I need writing fuel
(a little emotional motivation)
I watch a beautiful movie,
read a good book
or look at pictures of
you.

[MystyrMystyry]

Emotional Motivation

Coolness.

May I use it?

[hillwalker]

Fascinating as ever - ah luv yo mo-beel dee-vaz.

H

[Jack of Hearts]

6. Underwear in Your Buttcrack

Baby is upset and throwing baggage around
and you can hear her voice a-yellin'
to all the outskirts of the town.

Too many days.
Too many days you have come here talking about what a ****ty day you're having.
You talk about your dogs, your parents, your fat, your drama...

Your boyfriend issues
(he doesn't miss you)
Oh aged madonna
and theatre, and drama.

And when the air is sober and sombre
you tell us about sexual abuse, substance abuse and abortions
And our hearts go out to you
but mine moreso
because I really do feel terrible
for a person who continually uses horrible things
to define themselves an identity.

So when you accidentally pick your underwear out of your buttcrack
and I am incidentally witnessed
I cannot imagine why you are embarassed.
That you are embarassed.

[Jack of Hearts]

7. Ugly Sweaters

What is this nourishment
a human being needs
to thrive?

It didn't come with an instruction manual*
or a receipt
or a brand name.

Some days you gotta look past the goofy ornamentation

I think we're all wearing ugly sweaters.
They're addictions,
they're needs for status or ego
to be special.
Our sweaters look like cat vomit
or turned mayonaise.
But in my better moments
I remember there's a person under there.

In those moments my*judgement and disdain melt into shame.

[hillwalker]

No. 6 I enjoyed the most; very perceptive of you.

H

[Jack of Hearts]

8. Mobile Device Revisited

I'm tyin' my string
to the edge of the earth
Laid up on my back,
tryin' to make things work
I'm spending much time with you
Pushing you to do what I want you to

Honey's got a sleek body
Honey's sides' a streamlined
Lord but pressing her buttons
is costing my mind
Got mobile device blues
Lord believe me
how these words are ringing true

You know composin', it ain't a joke
nor goin' to college, nor being broke
And as for a keyboard, I know I have plenty
Time stamped at the bottom
circa1920
So meet my best bet:
this Apple misfit,
an angry little ****.

[Jack of Hearts]

9. Fish

I still don't know how fish 'do it'.


"My mother is a fish." - William Faulkner

[Jack of Hearts]

10. Tigre Reworked

Sweet to meet you dear Tigre
who tumbles 'tween fingerly wiggles
A flush-purple plush, that's her Tigre
She tells under giggling curls

This poet puts work into lines like
'A bird who's song clarion rings'
but when baby tells you about Tigre
Her poetry's better it seems

[Jack of Hearts]

11. Dead in the Water

It wasn't like it grew legs, got up and walked away. It was a strange sweater. It was an ugly sweater. It was a rust-orange colored token of stitched love that kept out the weather of the world and it was the only one of it's kind. Now it was gone.

[Jack of Hearts]

12. Mind Exhaust Manifesto

Because the meat is so tough it needs gravy.

Because the oatmeal is so thick it needs water.

Because the engine is doing work and black smoke is throwing out the back.

Because writing 'Julia' is killing me.

Mind Exhaust.

[Jack of Hearts]

(The mobeel-devaz strikes again. If anyone cares, this was a technical error and needs to be deleted.)

[Jack of Hearts]

13. My Body!

I don't know what time it is where you guys are.

Here it's 2:30am.

I wake up within 15 minutes of a reply being posted to one of my stories. I wake up in the middle of the night. This is consistent like science.

Because if I did it right, if I am having any kind of success, you are not looking at a story. Your eyes are crawling over a certain aspect of me, a living satellite of my soul. You try to sleep with that freaky **** going on!

Knock it off, I have to work tomorrow.

[Jack of Hearts]

14. Mind Exhausted

Julia, concluded.

Never has this author met a more stubborn 700 words.

Mind exhausted.

Hiatus is in order; this person cannot imagine ever wanting to write again!

This concludes this collection known as 'Mind Exhaust', which caught the pollution which formed while 'Julia' was produced.

This concludes 'Mind Exhaust,' and perhaps a few other things.