Storm Lover

[Delta40]

When day is draped in thick veils
Of nebulous thunderous doom,
A spectrum of turbid shadows
Hides the swarthy faces of onlookers
Whose visibility is extinguished
by Her impending approach.
Nature’s flow of existence surges forth.
Tides swell in response to torrential winds.
Cloudbursts drench and collect debris
in gutters, in ditches.
They meander, guggle and flow
Into back alleys that drown all in
A roaring, gushing deluge.
Helplessness is sucked into oblivion
only to rise again and again, flailing,
moaning; lost in swirls of wrath.
Flooding stormwater drains jet with a force
That finally brings the tempest to a halt
Nature wet kisses mankind as a reminder
That his ultimate destiny is to stagnate
in the grimy dew-ponds that pool beneath Her.

[nightshifft]

i love storms and enjoyed this one very much i write about them now and then but not sure they are fit for this forum
love this
thank you
dark

[Delta40]

lol. I think I posted on yours as you posted on mine!

[blank|verse]

Good work, Delta - you're certainly drenching the reader in images! Perhaps a bit too much for my liking, but it certainly captures the subject well.

Nice pay-off at the end which asks the reader to consider both aspects of nature, life and death. This is nicely foreshadowed through the language from the start: 'veils', 'doom', 'shadows'.

[cogs]

i like the metaphor here. the moving water is much longer than the one line of stagnant water, which interesting contrast i wanted to see developed, like, 'why is this happening?' thanks for submitting.