untitled

[moonbird]

dandelions gone to seed
broken china dolls
vacant faces
icy northern winds
unbounded wilderness
a knife stuck in the ground
barefooted children
monotonous raindrops
an empty pen
bloody fingernails
exhausted travelers
wild green eyes
slowly dripping water
desperate clutching hands
an unanswered echo

[moonbird]

I'm still unable to think of a title. Suggestions?

[hillwalker]

That's a difficult question. I'm still trying to find some element that binds this list of phrases to each other.

It seems that each one on its own could provide an exciting springboard into a new poem, but as a group nothing ties them together. Perhaps 'untitled' is a fitting title, or 'Unhinged'?

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

The last line might serve as the title, as it does seem to sum up the bleakness of the whole?

[Haunted]

I like the imageries a lot but to me it reads like a laundry list without any interactions among the elements. What exactly are you trying to say? What's your message?

[moonbird]

Aha! I got one! How do you guys feel about "nightmare"? And the reader would have their own vision about what the nightmare is about. The short, choppy details given actually broaden the possibilities of what the readers could imagine.

Or maybe that's too much of a stretch. I'm not sure yet.

[hillwalker]

The images you draw could indeed feature in a nightmare, but I'm still left wondering what they all signify as a whole. Perhaps you need to concentrate more on telling us how these snapshot images are related to each other and less on finding a title.

H