is it ok to use 'from now on' at the beginning of a poem as a seperate sentence?

[yuka]

as the title said, is it ok to use "from now on' at the begining of a poem as a seperate sentence? or is there any other better uses? I am very appreciated to get some suggestion, since english is not my mother language, i am not so sure if its ok. the initial several lines of the poems are as below:


From now on, you will enter the eternal kingdom
in naked, disregard the scarlet tempatation
crazy screams will be extinct from the world

.................................................. ....:yawnb:


thank you for any constructive suggestion.

[YesNo]

I don't understand the three lines, but in general I don't understand a lot of poetry that is written in English.

I would rewrite the first line as follows:

"From now on you will enter the eternal kingdom"

That is, I would remove the comma and spell "eternital" correctly. You should see red jagged underlining where the word is not spelled correctly.

I'm not a Language Arts teacher, so there are wiser folk here to correct me, but I do speak English as my first language--and I wish I knew Chinese.

[hillwalker]

As a separate line - no problem.

In poetry individual lines do not have to be complete sentences (and rarely are) so it is perfectly acceptable to begin your poem with 'From now on'

But be aware that 'From now on' is a phrase not a complete sentence so in prose it would need a qualifying phrase after it for it to make sense.

[As for the 3 lines of poetry you have quoted - lines 2 and 3 don't make a great deal of sense at present. Why 'baked' for instance?]

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Not only is it all right, in my opinion, but it's an excellent example of in medias res [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_medias_res], the technique of plunging us immediately into the middle of an action that began before the opening words, after which it is up to us to guess or to intuit what went on before that.

[Silas Thorne]

I'd agree with the above comments. And run tempatation through the spell check too. :)

Is this poem a translation from Chinese? Or was it originally written in English?

[yuka]

I don't understand the three lines, but in general I don't understand a lot of poetry that is written in English.

I would rewrite the first line as follows:

"From now on you will enter the eternal kingdom"

That is, I would remove the comma and spell "eternital" correctly. You should see red jagged underlining where the word is not spelled correctly.

I'm not a Language Arts teacher, so there are wiser folk here to correct me, but I do speak English as my first language--and I wish I knew Chinese.

thank you YesNo, for your correction. :) it seems i didn't find the red jagged underlining when i writing. as for chinese ,that's my native language, hope i can help you.

[yuka]

As a separate line - no problem.

In poetry individual lines do not have to be complete sentences (and rarely are) so it is perfectly acceptable to begin your poem with 'From now on'

But be aware that 'From now on' is a phrase not a complete sentence so in prose it would need a qualifying phrase after it for it to make sense.

[As for the 3 lines of poetry you have quoted - lines 2 and 3 don't make a great deal of sense at present. Why 'baked' for instance?]

H

thank you hillwalker. you really gave me a great help. very sorry i made a slip in line2, 'naked' not 'baked'. this poem was written for Spartacus, after i finished it i will post it out, then hope can get your comments. :)

[yuka]

Not only is it all right, in my opinion, but it's an excellent example of in medias res [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_medias_res], the technique of plunging us immediately into the middle of an action that began before the opening words, after which it is up to us to guess or to intuit what went on before that.

thank you Prince, for your suring and offered website. i will look into it.:)

[yuka]

I'd agree with the above comments. And run tempatation through the spell check too. :)

Is this poem a translation from Chinese? Or was it originally written in English?

haha, Silas, thank you for your words. i like humorists.:)

this was a translation from my original chinese poem. you are something :)

[yuka]

by the way, thanks moderator to draw my this post to here from Lesson Plan