Family Portrait

[RebeccaJO'H]

This is a really personal poem for me but I feel the need to share it.
The concept of abusive husbands, fathers and whatnot seems to be a sort of taboo and I don't think it should be. The longer it's denied the longer it will go on for and the longer these monsters will continue to prey on the innocent.
Any criticism or comments will be welcome.
Thanks a lot


You think we’re fooled-
So easy to delude,
Eyes widening in the cracks of doors,
Crouching down on all fours;

We hear you shout
When you think no one’s about.

So never believe we’re unaware,
Really know that we are scared-

Because we’ve seen it all;
We've witnessed your fall.

We listen
To slamming doors and angry fists,
Wondering when was the last time
That Mummy and Daddy kissed

We think it’s normal
To always be hurtful
And lashing out
Is what love is about.

We hear you scream
But pretend it’s a dream

Because seeing you hurt
And always alert
Makes us feel frozen
And we don’t know the reason-

For why are you made to weep?
Why does the water continuously seep?

We know that your tears
Confirm our fears;

A happy family
Is now so far from reality,
For there is only hate
And a need to create

Everlasting pain
And a lifetime of shame
Trying the hide
The life we despise-

We weep for the memory
Of how it used to be.

I read your letter
You say it will get be better
If you go away
And save us all the shame.

Where is it you will go?
You said I needn’t know.

…

I wish I had stopped you
And told you not to
For now I’m alone
With him in our home.

I listen to him shout when he knows no one’s about
And I weep for the memory of how it used to be-

I promise I’ll behave
If you give me what I crave,
Take me into your arms
Please, protect me from harm.

The thuds...
They get louder

As he gets ever closer

I’ll wait for the pain
And accept the blame
Then crawl into bed
And wish I was dead.

It's not too late
To save me from this fate-

Please... come home.
Don't make me stay here alone.

[hillwalker]

Commenting on such a personal poem is difficult for an uninvolved outsider.

But firstly, the subject is not taboo nowadays (nor should it be).

As for the poem itself, it sounds as if it has been written in the voice of a bewildered child. There's almost a nursery-rhyme quality to some of the verses.

Perhaps the rhyme is a little too dominant in places - making your expressions sound a little awkward. But it is a very honest, painful portrait of what goes on behind so many locked doors.

I'm guessing writing this poem has been a helpful exercise in expressing your anger and despair but also gut-wrenching so thanks for sharing it with us.

H

[RebeccaJO'H]

Thanks very much for the feedback :)

[Delta40]

it does have a child-like sound to it and perhaps that is a legacy of abuse - we don't evolve in the way we ought as our lives are so stunted by it, which makes expression of such pain challenging to say the least.

well done for writing honestly about this - most of all for yourself.

[RebeccaJO'H]

That is very true. It's wrong to keep everything bottled up because eventually even the most composed of people will snap.

Thank you :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

Good for you for summoning up the courage to confront this. Have you considered writing the essence of it as a short story, in which you could draw us in more by creating at least one typical episode with even the most pedestrian details filled in so that, as much as possible, we live through it with the protagonist?