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moonbird
11-24-2010, 02:43 PM
She’s a pretty young thing, with bouncy blonde hair and the thighs that men love. She wears a layered brown dress, old-fashioned and unflattering, with a dark green apron tied round her thin waist. She’s in bed with a man with bright red hair, not making love, not yet, just talking, talking the way lovers do, all whispers and giggles and foreheads pressed together, looking into the other’s eyes.

And then, suddenly, he says something that turns her on, and she slips off his flannel shirt while he unties her apron and tosses it away. His jeans come off as he peels away the colored layers of her dress until finally she is completely nude, and then his underwear too are gone and they are both two naked lovers in bed, and of course they begin to make love.

And then without warning it is all gone, the bed and the lover, and there is the girl, now in sexy lingerie, and she’s in a different bed with a different lover, one with toned muscles and shaggy brown hair, and they are beginning to take off the other’s clothes, and the girl is giggling, and they too make love.

Suddenly it flicks back, to the other bed and the other lover, and then back again to the brown-haired lover, and back and forth until her actions begin to mesh together and you can’t tell who she is truly making love to. The girl and the men are obviously enjoying themselves, as there is a continuous chorus of sighs and moans from all parties. Their hands clutch and stroke, and their legs are intertwined.

And without warning the chorus is broken. The girl speaks softly, and we cannot know which bed from which she speaks, or even hear the words she says; only can see her wince and mouth silent words.

And then she cries out, perhaps in pain, perhaps in terror, perhaps even in anguish, and tears are streaming down her face in two cold rivers.

Everything begins to rush away, and the lovers’ faces fade like mist, and one of them whispers into her ear, and then the other, like an echo.

Now the girl is screaming in desperation, and the men are fading away into oblivion, and she clutches at their transparent bodies and wailing and sobbing. She chokes on her sobs, she screams, and then everything is gone, the lovers, the beds, even her, and there is nothing.

She opens her eyes.

And she looks up into the faces of her lovers, both middle-aged now, and they all lie in a bed with the men pressed tightly to her sides, and the dark-haired lover points a pistol at her forehead.

She screams, but it is truly in sadness and confusion, for she is not afraid to die.

The gun disappears, and then she sees only the face of her first lover, the one with red hair, which now has receded much from his forehead. His eyes are encircled in a sickly blue.

“Are you sure we should tell her?” he asks. “After all, she’s just a girl.”

“Yes,” replies the other man, the dark-haired lover. “It must be done.”

So the red-haired lover sighs and says to the girl, “You must remember that we will do all that we can to protect you. We love you.” He hesitates, then adds, “You must be protected from the actress; the actress who will try to militarize the world.”

Her eyes are very wide and very blue.

The red-haired lover nods. “I will tell you everything, but you cannot hear the beginning from me. You must hear it from the rain.”

For the first time the girl looks around and sees that they are on a stiff bed in a dingy little hotel room, and outside the window she sees and hears the rain pounding down on the world.

She does not understand.

“Listen to the rain,” repeats the red-haired lover. “Listen to it closely, and it will tell you the answer.”

So the girl looks out the window and listens, and she hairs the raindrops tap and splash in a monotonous rhythm, unbroken, unfeeling, unrevealing.

She tries to speak, to tell them that she cannot listen to the rain, but her red-haired lover just repeats, over and over, “Listen to the rain... it will tell you the answer... listen...”

And so the rain girl listens.


**So far, every single person who's read this story has simply replied, "What the hell does it mean?" And of course, I cannot tell them. That is for the reader to decide. But I would love to hear your interpretations of this story, so please leave a comment or two.**

hillwalker
11-24-2010, 06:20 PM
So far, every single person who's read this story has simply replied, "What the hell does it mean?" And of course, I cannot tell them. That is for the reader to decide. But I would love to hear your interpretations of this story, so please leave a comment or two.**

..... presumably you cannot tell them because you haven't got a clue.

Personally this reader interprets this as meaningless.

The plot is laughable - from a girl wearing an apron in bed (?) to the chorus of cries and moans - the man with a gun then no gun, in bed then not in bed.....

Presumably you are trying to be enigmatic and mysterious, but it left me baffled rather than entertained. I could hardly care less what it's all meant to signify. Not the mark of a well-written story, which is a pity because you are a capable writer. But this plot is nonsensical.

H

LilJoe44
04-03-2012, 08:19 PM
I may be a bit outdated in replying, but anyhow.....

I thought it was pretty clear that this girl was sleeping around with these two lovers (at least that we are aware of, i think the rain signified the many others out there) who don't really know each other. Over time, they blend more and more together in the mind. Was sure she was going to end up with HIV when the gun came into the mix. In the end, she's dealing with dying and not knowing who got her sick. The rain signifies her never being able to tell.....