The sun, that peppercorn

[PrinceMyshkin]

The sun, that peppercorn,
shines as if it were
the naked face of God.

Beneath it, we huddle
in the sanctuaries - Khartoum, Edinburgh, Mumbai
- we have sketched,
we here, others there.

Underneath that, the lesser peppercorns
scatter on their apparently
aimless way...

[hillwalker]

One of the eternal questions... I was intrigued as to why Edinburgh figures in the company of two such exotic cities (unless it signifies Protestantism - linked with two other centres of faith?).....

However, I'm not overly fond of that final line and feel the poem can survive without such a conclusion. It reminds me of a duck-billed platitude.....

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

One of the eternal questions... I was intrigued as to why Edinburgh figures in the company of two such exotic cities (unless it signifies Protestantism - linked with two other centres of faith?).....

However, I'm not overly fond of that final line and feel the poem can survive without such a conclusion. It reminds me of a duck-billed platitude.....

H

Edinburgh is there, intuitively, just to provide a combination of the exotic and the familiar or well-established. As to the "duck-billed platitude," a phrase I'd never heard before but that I found hilarious, I plead only that the poem as a whole went through so many different, variously unsatisfying versions, hat I may have given in to simple exhaustion at that point. If I had to defend it, I'd say that its homeliness is meant to undercut the capricious or mischievous image of the opening line.

[Jerrybaldy]

I would love to be able to write in this way.
JerryB

[PrinceMyshkin]

I would love to be able to write in this way.
JerryB

Not a problem, Guv. Here's what you do:

1) Key in the following:

The sun, that peppercorn,

then report back to me here for the next step.

[Delta40]

aren't peppercorns black? I had difficulty linking this to the sun

[Jerrybaldy]

The whole world hates a smart arse prince :P
luckily I abide you :D

[_Shannon_]

peppercorn twice in a poem so small....I am not sure it's import, and I think I don't understand the connection between that word and the sun and the huddling< how can one see the sun inside a sanctuary??

[PrinceMyshkin]

peppercorn twice in a poem so small....I am not sure it's import, and I think I don't understand the connection between that word and the sun and the huddling< how can one see the sun inside a sanctuary??

I don't subscribe to the notion that one should not use a word twice in a poem, whatever the length, so long as one isn't expecting it to have the same force each time. As to what the thing means as a whole: no more than a vivid, overtly incomprehensible dream.

[_Shannon_]

I don't subscribe to the notion that one should not use a word twice in a poem, whatever the length, so long as one isn't expecting it to have the same force each time. As to what the thing means as a whole: no more than a vivid, overtly incomprehensible dream.

LOL! It's the editor in me.....lol! :seeya:

[Haunted]

Edinburgh is there, intuitively, just to provide a combination of the exotic and the familiar or well-established. As to the "duck-billed platitude," a phrase I'd never heard before but that I found hilarious, I plead only that the poem as a whole went through so many different, variously unsatisfying versions, hat I may have given in to simple exhaustion at that point. If I had to defend it, I'd say that its homeliness is meant to undercut the capricious or mischievous image of the opening line.

I particularly adore the first stanza but I bet there are versions you casted aside that are just as satisfying if not more.

[PrinceMyshkin]

LOL! It's the editor in me.....lol! :seeya:

What is that saying: "Editor, edit thyself!"

[PrinceMyshkin]

Delta: Peppercorns can be white, pink or even (I think) red; but yes, this peppercorn, as I imagined it, was black - and of course a virtual infinity smaller than the sun. Hence, what it meant to me - as far as I could get - was the amazing difference between how things might appear to us and how they might be in some other context: e.g., the largest object in our galaxy seen against the vastness of the known or conjectured multiverse, in which the sun might be no more than a peppercorn is to us.


I particularly adore the first stanza but I bet there are versions you casted aside that are just as satisfying if not more.

You're being discreet about the earlier version that I showed you, which you were enthusiastic about, which I appreciated. All I can add is that the first line was one of those that just popped up out of the murk, and I never figured out to my satisfaction what to do with it.

I do grieve over the loss of the something more this poem might have been.

[Delta40]

oh. I get it now. sometimes I need stuff spelled out to me!