mirror mirror

[nightshifft]

mirror mirror

mirror mirror on the wall
who stares back at me from the image I see
from behind cold glassy eyes
he stares back at me
is he as cold and hard as the glass skin he wears
is he truly me
or when I turn away does he laugh
or cry out for the life he is deprived
if I break the glass will he bleed
will he ache and turn away hiding broken visage
denying his need
does the glass seem darker when he stares out at me
am I the reflection of who I want to be
or just some shallow copy of my dreaming head
mirror mirror on the wall
if it breaks will I fall
am I living reality or is reality living me
look close peer deep into those eyes
sometimes I think its only a disguise
and a lunatic resides inside
trying to live up to the lies
the mirrored face tries to hide
mirror mirrior in my head
when it breaks will that false image be dead
will I be free stepping carefully
over a thousand broken shards of me
or
will there be a thousand mirrored
images laughing staring up at me

dark

[web_spider4]

A wonderful concept!

The flow of the poem is very nicely executed. It comes out very naturally when read.

There are few grammar errors, but nothing huge.

Good job!

[hillwalker]

There are some great images and ideas hidden away here, but it goes on too long and you end up repeating the same thing and elaborating when there's no need to.

You could easily trim 50% of this away without losing the poem's impact; you only need to focus on each idea for two or three lines as you approach the climax of the broken mirror and you would have a much more powerful piece.

H