Forgotten Shards

[web_spider4]

This is a sonnet. If I have screwed up the form in anyway, please correct me in a comment.

Thanks!

Forgotten Shards

A tethered vision has faded now- dead.
Settled atop her busted arch of dreams,
Thirsting for this unknown climax to shed,
And these final moments of shattered screams.

'Was here that I repressed my muffled thoughts,
I boiled alive and gutted their limb
To free her soul from these diminished slots
And place her heart beside his vision of grim.

For this, which to indulge the plastic ghoul,
Shall present agonies demolished face
To fragmented love falling for the fool
When these forgotten shards begin to embrace.

Almighty please, divide the lucid chain
That binds his to thee, to thee that brings pain.

[hillwalker]

Screwing up the form?

Well, the rhyme scheme is correct (if a little forced) and there are 14 lines.

But some of these fail to conform to the formal pentameter (10 beats to each line) and it's definitely not written in strict iambs [ - / - / - / - / - / ] (not that this in itself is a crime - but the rhythm - or lack of rhythm - you have used is terribly clunky to read).

As for what the poem is trying to say - well, I'll admit I couldn't understand most of what you've written.

Perhaps you should concentrate more on expressing yourself so readers can engage with the subject matter first before attempting to write in formal verse.

H