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View Full Version : I called her name.



Jerrybaldy
11-19-2010, 07:09 PM
I had walked in slippers, from city to field
from field to moor, from electric light
to moonlit night.
From false comfort ,to the barren 'scape
to wilderness, to wildness
for the need to be lost
and to deny a warm escape.
I called her name over and over again,
blown by the gale
to the hole in my face
from where it came.
I welcomed the utter despair
like a mother, dead and frozen
with frigid hands
gently carressing my hair.
As rain spat a sting in my face,
I laughed and fell face down
to embrace the goddamn earth
and to never find a place.
I dug my fingers in damp dirt
to find a hole within
to bury myself right there
and cover my shame and hurt.
The night went on relentless
my despair was just a jackass
on a night trip out of town
to a moor that couldn't care less.
When the sun first showed a sliver
her name no longer mattered.
I walked, a nobody passing,
bathed face down in the river.

Delta40
11-19-2010, 07:52 PM
I can't make out if you mean losing yourself in the arms of a nobody in the obscure hope you will connect with yourself as you attempt to become part of the earth - which is undeniably linked to women and mothers......

(I just did a cryptic crossword and I'm probably delving for hidden meanings unecessarily)

powerful writing Jerry.

Jerrybaldy
11-19-2010, 08:03 PM
I love a good cryptic crossword.
I thought this was clearish though. Lost love, despair, barren heath, connection of location to emotion, sun rise, face down in a river. Actually I should have posted it just as that :D

Haunted
11-19-2010, 08:16 PM
I wouldn't have gotten Jer. I thought you lost your SO while you were punch drunk. This is deep stuff. Bravo

Jerrybaldy
11-19-2010, 08:33 PM
ah significant other. yes. character has just lost his SO :)

Delta40
11-19-2010, 08:41 PM
Does this mean you have written a SO SO poem?

Jerrybaldy
11-19-2010, 08:46 PM
More than likely

hillwalker
11-20-2010, 08:17 AM
A touch of the Heathcliffes. Powerful stuff as ever.....

and should 'slither' perhaps be 'sliver'?

H

zoolane
11-20-2010, 08:20 AM
The poem sort impression someone had nerve break down but look back on the episode. I like first three lines and last two lines.

PrinceMyshkin
11-20-2010, 10:23 AM
An extraordinary poem, JB. We all write poems with varying degrees of control and conscious intention. This reads like one that had to be written and if it hadn't found you to write it, who knows what it would have done? My hat's off to you.

Jerrybaldy
11-20-2010, 04:56 PM
Thanks Hill, will change the slither.
Thanks Zoo. I like your chosen lines.
I am floored by your praise Prince. Sounds corny but I did live it as I wrote it and escaping into desolation is a reccuring thread in my head and writing right now. Many thanks.