I was

[Amylian]

"I was"

by

Ali Makki aka Amylian the Great


I was a Sherri,
The bird who, with my breast of life, fed you,

I was a She-Centaur,
The knowledge that you possessed,

I was Juliet,
The Fair girl that you fell in love with,

I was Alexia,
The suspended doll you brought doom to,

I was Oiwa,
The beautiful ghost who eternally haunted you,

I was Thanatos,
The death that claimed thy soul.

Regards,
Ali aka Amylian the Great

[hillwalker]

I actually understood this so you must be improving. And there is an inevitable progression from being given life to being doomed.

.... and of course, you had to throw in a 'thy' just to maintain your style credentials.

H

[Haunted]

oops I thought Amylian the Great is a guy... unless you are writing as a female persona.

It seems all nice and neat until I reached "thy", then it just lost credibility for me, like you are trying too hard to make it into a centuries old poem that you read in school rather than writing from your heart.

[Amylian]

I actually understood this so you must be improving. And there is an inevitable progression from being given life to being doomed.

.... and of course, you had to throw in a 'thy' just to maintain your style credentials.

H

hahahaha, then I am flattered, but why? WHY won't people accept "thy" ? hehehe, you know, I even use it when I am speaking...!! It has become part of me...!!!

[Amylian]

oops I thought Amylian the Great is a guy... unless you are writing as a female persona.

It seems all nice and neat until I reached "thy", then it just lost credibility for me, like you are trying too hard to make it into a centuries old poem that you read in school rather than writing from your heart.

ufff, what the hell...lol hehehe I am a GUY...!! Why do you think I put my real name for, Ali ? lol

Anyways, yes I am writing this as a female persona, and I wonder why people are losing faith in "thy" and won't accept it in modern usage of the language...?!!

[Jerrybaldy]

People aren't losing faith in 'thy' Ali, it is archaic and tends to give the impression that it is being used to add weight to a piece.It may be your style as Hill suggested but its worth remembering it will leave some readers cold.

I found your poem grandiose, but then again you are self titled the great :)
cheers
JerryB