I feel like

[nightshifft]

I feel like

I feel like peter pan today
left alone to play
while Wendy and tiger Lilly
grow up and forget how to fly
how to sore across the sky
I feel like peter pan today
left alone with out even my shadow to talk to
hey I heard a funny joke today
what was that ?
I long to here someone say
I feel like peter pan today
watching as one by one
my friends grow old
turn away
forgetting how to play
I feel like peter pan today
franticly searching for tic tock croc
before time slips away
I feel like peter Pan today
praying that fairy magic
will bring you all back to me
I feel like a old man today
left alone to spend his days
dreaming of dreams
boys that never grew old
endless time spent with friends
crocs and pirates with shiny hooks
fairy gardens with tree forts hidden
I feel like a old man today
waiting for the darkness
to take him away

dark

[kittypaws]

Tinkle Bell here~
Never grow old
stay young, no fear.

We can fly a kite.
Dance in the rain.
Color all nite!

You are not alone
In your journey
to never grow old!

kittypaws

As you can tell I liked your poem...huge fan of Peter Pan and never ever growing up!

[PrinceMyshkin]

The poem has a wonderful spontaneous flow, but check your texts before you post them. For instance "a old man" should always be an old man" , once or twice you write "here" when you mean hear and what was the point of mentioning the joke without telling us what it was?

[nightshifft]

the point of not telling the joke was that there was nobody there to tell it to

[PrinceMyshkin]

the point of not telling the joke was that there was nobody there to tell it to

Subtle point. Punctuation might have helped me pick up on it though you chose to do without punctuation throughout.

[nightshifft]

probley has to do with failing english class through out school then haveing to drop out early i did manage to go back and get a ged but never even though about writeing anything especially poetry untill maybe 4 years ok iam 53 now but i was hurting and in deep depresion a friend said try writeing some thoughts down so i did and it helped so now when iam hurting or in deep depresion i write i make no excuses for how what or why its only for me not sure why i even share here lonely i guess

dark

[Jerrybaldy]

I was moved reading your reply above, nightshifft and it makes your poem all the more real and heartfelt.
very best wishes to you and I hope that being on here makes you feel less lonely, as you are surrounded by many like minded people.
JerryB

[Delta40]

I felt the loneliness in this poem nightshift.

[Scheherazade]

This is a great idea for a poem, Nightshifft. The opening lines really got me hooked on and the sentimentality expressed, no doubt, is a sombre one.

I feel that there are couple of repititions and recycled ideas that upset the flow of the poem but those can be fixed after some revision. Over all, a very good poem.

There are couple of misspelt words:

how to sore across the sky (soar)

left alone with out even my shadow to talk to (without)

I long to here someone say (hear)


Looking forward to reading more of your poems. :)