sweety
11-17-2010, 02:57 PM
Jim the barman brought me a pint of cider. I was sitting outside the market bar on Porterhouse road thinking about my blind date for to-night. At first I thought of taking her to my local bar but decided against it.
No I think a curry at the Taramasalata restaurant and maybe a disco afterwards might be a better bet.
Across the street I could see a dishevelled young woman and a ruggedly boy of about eight pushing a very old pram towards the small betting shop opposite the pub where I was having lunch.
When she reached the door, she started shouting for her husband Slum to come out. ''Our last penny has been galloped into the ground like the many nags you had the misfortune to bet on", she cried, tears erupting from her lovely blue eyes.
''What's to become of us'' she cried, causing passers-by to stop and see what the commotion was all about.
Her husband Slum on hearing the racket was shamed into making an appearance. ''Will you go home Missoula, you're making a holy show.''
''A what? Why you little feck'' and she kicked Slum in the groin.
He bent over in pain and fell to the ground like a sack of spuds. ''I’ll shagging castrate you!" On hearing that her brat produced a flick knife and sliced his father's ear off.
''Look'' cried the old toothless hag who was chewing a lump of tobacco, "she's putting the boot in."
A copper arrived and was making his way to the dangerous brat wielding the blade when an unmarried mother shouted, "stick the pig."
He hit her over the head with his truncheon and arrested her under the riot notice of blah. blah.
Great crowds were gathering, some to show their concern and sympathy for poor Missoula, others less caring, were glad for the interruption in their boring and down trodden lives due to government mismanagement.
A Volkswagen bus packed with marijuana caught fire it seems the hippie driver dropped his reefer on the stash. The fumes consuming the crowd with its dreamlike substance.
Old age pensioners could be seen sniffing the air like blood hounds catching the scent of a mongoose and started swaying to the gentle cries of hallelujah that filled the air.
The Hare Krishna faithful went to the aid of Slum, chanting in their unnerving wail of insanity, offering sanctuary to the lost soul of the Porterhouse betting shop. Come out, come out, wherever ye are, Hari Hari is here.
The American evangelist in the crowd was having none of that and offered to drive Satan from Slum.
''Come brother let Jesus save you'' and put his hands on Slum who was confused and bleeding. The evangelist began his exorcism, screaming for the evil one to vacate the husband of Missoula. ''Be gone you vile blackguard, you defile the sanctity of matrimony, be gone'' then his right hand shot out hitting poor Slum in the forehead with great force at first poor Slum looked mesmerized his eyes rolling.
The crowed thought that Beelzebub was driven from him but when his head hit the pavement with a heavy thud and exploded into little pieces You could hear a pin drop all was still before the storm. ''I fear it is to late'' said the parish priest that appeared from nowhere in a cloud of marijuana smoke,
Bending down next to poor Slum he administered the last rites and the Hare Krishna faithful went into a trance.
Charlatan!', someone in the crowd shouted at the American evangelist. 'Murderer!', others were heard to say and there were screams of foul play.
When without warning Missoula who was very distraught, threw her self at the American evangelist flaying at him her filthy nails breaking the surface of his pale manicured skin her eight year old boy took the flick knife from his pocket stabbing the evangelist in the groin.
Serves him right!' shouted an Atheist wearing a sneer but felt it his duty to go to the aid of the preacher pulling mother and child off the poor demented man.
In the distance police sirens could be heard trying to negotiate the busy market streets and someone innocently inquired if anyone knew where the marijuana was growing.
That night I arrived at the restaurant early and after ordering a blond in a black evening dress I took a pew. ''here you are sir a pint of Guinness'' I was just breaking the froth when a hand touched mine and said ''hi you must be my blind date I'm Missoula''. :yikes:
No I think a curry at the Taramasalata restaurant and maybe a disco afterwards might be a better bet.
Across the street I could see a dishevelled young woman and a ruggedly boy of about eight pushing a very old pram towards the small betting shop opposite the pub where I was having lunch.
When she reached the door, she started shouting for her husband Slum to come out. ''Our last penny has been galloped into the ground like the many nags you had the misfortune to bet on", she cried, tears erupting from her lovely blue eyes.
''What's to become of us'' she cried, causing passers-by to stop and see what the commotion was all about.
Her husband Slum on hearing the racket was shamed into making an appearance. ''Will you go home Missoula, you're making a holy show.''
''A what? Why you little feck'' and she kicked Slum in the groin.
He bent over in pain and fell to the ground like a sack of spuds. ''I’ll shagging castrate you!" On hearing that her brat produced a flick knife and sliced his father's ear off.
''Look'' cried the old toothless hag who was chewing a lump of tobacco, "she's putting the boot in."
A copper arrived and was making his way to the dangerous brat wielding the blade when an unmarried mother shouted, "stick the pig."
He hit her over the head with his truncheon and arrested her under the riot notice of blah. blah.
Great crowds were gathering, some to show their concern and sympathy for poor Missoula, others less caring, were glad for the interruption in their boring and down trodden lives due to government mismanagement.
A Volkswagen bus packed with marijuana caught fire it seems the hippie driver dropped his reefer on the stash. The fumes consuming the crowd with its dreamlike substance.
Old age pensioners could be seen sniffing the air like blood hounds catching the scent of a mongoose and started swaying to the gentle cries of hallelujah that filled the air.
The Hare Krishna faithful went to the aid of Slum, chanting in their unnerving wail of insanity, offering sanctuary to the lost soul of the Porterhouse betting shop. Come out, come out, wherever ye are, Hari Hari is here.
The American evangelist in the crowd was having none of that and offered to drive Satan from Slum.
''Come brother let Jesus save you'' and put his hands on Slum who was confused and bleeding. The evangelist began his exorcism, screaming for the evil one to vacate the husband of Missoula. ''Be gone you vile blackguard, you defile the sanctity of matrimony, be gone'' then his right hand shot out hitting poor Slum in the forehead with great force at first poor Slum looked mesmerized his eyes rolling.
The crowed thought that Beelzebub was driven from him but when his head hit the pavement with a heavy thud and exploded into little pieces You could hear a pin drop all was still before the storm. ''I fear it is to late'' said the parish priest that appeared from nowhere in a cloud of marijuana smoke,
Bending down next to poor Slum he administered the last rites and the Hare Krishna faithful went into a trance.
Charlatan!', someone in the crowd shouted at the American evangelist. 'Murderer!', others were heard to say and there were screams of foul play.
When without warning Missoula who was very distraught, threw her self at the American evangelist flaying at him her filthy nails breaking the surface of his pale manicured skin her eight year old boy took the flick knife from his pocket stabbing the evangelist in the groin.
Serves him right!' shouted an Atheist wearing a sneer but felt it his duty to go to the aid of the preacher pulling mother and child off the poor demented man.
In the distance police sirens could be heard trying to negotiate the busy market streets and someone innocently inquired if anyone knew where the marijuana was growing.
That night I arrived at the restaurant early and after ordering a blond in a black evening dress I took a pew. ''here you are sir a pint of Guinness'' I was just breaking the froth when a hand touched mine and said ''hi you must be my blind date I'm Missoula''. :yikes: