just a story someone wanted to write

[dark_writer500]

It was raining. Not the kind that just goes unnoticed and doesn't make puddles. It was raining. Hard. The trees in the forest didn't block out the rain. It just dripped the rain onto you when you'd least expect it. And if you looked closely enough, you'd just barely see two smudged figures hurrying through the downpour. They trudged through the rain, wet and sodden as they slipped and slided in the mud. As they stopped for a rest, the taller one spoke.
"When are we going to get there, Lilie? We've been trudging through this for ages now."
"Not much longer, Horace. Scared of a little rain, huh?" Lilie laughed, but it seemed hollow somehow.
"Well, you'd better hurry up. If I stay in this much longer, I'll turn into a fish." Just at that moment, a large amount of water splashed onto his head. Lilie smiled, amused, then suggested they go on. Horace agreed.

(I'll take comments.)

[tainaprincess]

Not bad, you caught my attention. What's going to happen next?

[tailor STATELY]

Me too... but slided ?; perhaps 'slid'.

[hillwalker]

Three points -

a great starting point for a story so perhaps you should also post this on the Short Story forum rather than poetry

'a large amount of water splashed onto his head' suggests someone emotying a bucket rather than rainfall - you might want to reword it

finally - who in their right minds names a fictional character Horace?

H :-)

[tailor STATELY]

finally - who in their right minds names a fictional character Horace?
"The Diary of Horace Wimp" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diary_of_Horace_Wimp) by Electric Light Orchestra for one ;)

[hillwalker]

Which proves my point I guess.

H :-)

[tailor STATELY]

ℵ rofl ℵ