I think I love you.

[organizedchaos]

You lay next to me, and I feel like you've been there for years. I'm at a loss for words at how to describe this.

You ask me why I think we are so connected. Who knows.

It's not like we chose this ...and that's why I trust it.

I'm not scared. I'm not in any rush. Because our spirits have already met.

...and danced.

It's now a matter of easing into each other's physical presences

And we have to move slowly.

Because when the back of our hands touched I felt electricity spark up my spine and spread throughout my entire body. When your face was inches from mine I could barely breathe.

When you grabbed the back of my neck, pulled your forehead to mine, and said "thank you" it was all I could do to not let tears roll down my cheeks.

Because this makes so much sense to me.

To us.

I miss you when you are not by me. I wonder what you are doing.

I hold you in the gold light of my prayers, and I feel you doing the same for me.

You know what to say to push me, to support me.

To love me.

You bring out the weakness in me, because I feel comfortable being weak around you.

I feel okay crying.

I don't need strong walls because I know that I can lay my head on your shoulder. Fall into your hug. And count on you to stand up and support my weight.

Even when my legs are wobbling and I can't feel them anymore. Even when my hands are shaking. And my heart is beating so fast that I can barely take in enough breath to keep up with it.

You will be here next to me at 4am just to listen to me. You will beam here. You will turn your entire body, mind, and spirit towards me, and just give.

Oh my god, I think I love you.

[hillwalker]

Writing as passionately as this I think you are right.

It's not easy to write about love without sounding cheesy - or copying all those Hallmark cliches -but you succeed. I particularly liked

But our spirits have already met/... and danced

One pet hate of mine that seems to have taken over this forum - why do so many writers confuse 'lie' and 'lay'? It baffles me. I suppose they cannot understand how 'lay' can be the past tense of one verb and the present tense of another quite different verb.

The word 'lay' in line 1 is ok if you are writing in the past tense, but since everything that follows is in the present tense I'm assuming you meant 'lie'. Hens 'lay' eggs -humans 'lie' down.

In the 4th line from the end 'I can lay my head on your shoulder' uses 'lay' correctly.

Nice poem though

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

To me this lacks something of the magic I felt in your other poem. It seems like a series of very literal statements, the function of each is to be more sincere, more heartfelt than the preceding.

[kelby_lake]

There are bits that I think work and bits that don't, but that's to be expected in love poetry.

[organizedchaos]

Thanks for the grammar help, Hillwalk - that is very much appreciated.

And PrincemyShkin - thanks for helping me to notice the difference between the metaphorical and literal descriptions. It all blends together for me when I look at my own writing. It is something I'll definitely look out for.

Thanks for the feedback