sweety
11-15-2010, 06:16 AM
''I'm afraid your poor Biddy is dead'' doctor Zoo told Striver, Biddy's husband.
On hearing this Biddy embarked on her voyage towards a blinding light. At first she thought it was Christmas with the lights all lit up, but soon shrugged it off, as far as she knew it was still summer and finding herself in a tunnel travelling at the speed of light was not her idea of heaven and to make matters worse at the other end a demon they called Beelzebub screamed into her ear that he was number 666 and welcomed her to the serpent's abyss.
Poor Biddy went berserk but composed herself when the devil himself offered her a deal, if she could get the Pope's big toe for him then he, the master of all evil, would raise her from the dead and restore her to the world of confusion.
An extraordinary request she thought but if 666 could raise her from the dead who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth. As far as she knew the Atheist or was it the Antichrist Pope didn't come across as someone who would part with his big toe willy-nilly.
“"I gladly accept your kind offer sir and if I have to I'll bite it off", cried Biddy ecstatic with the revelation that she might once again walk among the living. ''But how am I to get an invitation to his big toe?'' ''Let me worry about that'', said the blackguard beaming, which sent shivers through poor Biddy. She thought she would have a heart attack but then realised she was already dead.
“"Now before you depart on your mission let me show you the distractions of hell" and he stuck his tongue deep into her mouth. She had the feeling she was drowning," so this is what water boarding feels like then." The fire of his powerful body melting away her catholic upbringing and she embraced hells atmosphere and the trillions of atoms dancing to her exploding orgasms.
Floating in the bowels of hell with 666 astride her, she thought she recognized a man sporting a moustache as Hitler, but when the TV images of the second world war flooded her hard drive confusion took over.
Beelzebub switched on another TV screen and the horrors of humanity were laid bare before her very eyes. Not being able to take it any longer she begged for mercy, then the Imp gave her the toe extractor with instructions.
Her husband Striver was the first to hear the scream coming from the open coffin at the church service. An old woman fainted when she saw Biddy's head emerge from the coffin shouting for Striver "to get her the **** out of this timber grave."
Helping her to her feet he could hardly believe his eyes. There were sobs of a miraculous event taking place, followed by the usual hallelujah chants.
''Get me home quick'', she told Striver "I have things to do and places to go."
:santasmilBack home she unpacked the toe extractor and after reading the instructions she asked Striver to book her on the next flight to Rome where she had an audience with the Pope.
The instructions were to affix the toe extractor to the Pope's big toe and give a good pull. The devil would then beam her to hell with the toe and afterwards he would keep his promise and resurrect her .
At the Vatican a well-known bishop of dubious morals led her into a cell where the Pope and President Obama were settling down to have their feet disinfected, as was the custom. Offering to do the honours she immersed their feet in the bath of water and was about to clasp the extractor to the Pope's big toe when a terrorist attack took place and in the confusion clasped it to Obama's toe.
"O well" she thought," the devil a care, the Imp will never notice the difference when I whitewash it". And she stopped off at a paint shop on her way hell and had it looking whiter than white. After entering hell she presented the toe to the degenerate and he consumed it with vigour, but it wasn't long before he developed food poisoning. Biddy remarked on his bleak pallor. Pointing an overgrown fingernail at her he said: "You poisoned me you *****" and then he passed out.
She escaped his clutches only to find herself in the hands of the CIA and was charged with domestic terrorism and was locked up in Guantanamo Bay without trial and was water boarded three times a day. But when the guards saw that she was having multiple orgasms during the torture sessions they soon put a stop to it. But it was too late to stop the world citizens from hearing about it and they took to it like ducks to water and renamed it the Busher.
The new world order, headed by the Bilderbergs, were unhappy about the whole affair and decided to ban water boarding altogether. Back in hell a very sick devil swore revenge on Biddy and the owner of the foul toe which nearly done him in. Poor Biddy who was now occupying a room in the asylum for the insane was longing for the Imps tongue.
Meanwhile the devil made a full recovery and was planning a terror attack on the Pentagon.
On hearing this Biddy embarked on her voyage towards a blinding light. At first she thought it was Christmas with the lights all lit up, but soon shrugged it off, as far as she knew it was still summer and finding herself in a tunnel travelling at the speed of light was not her idea of heaven and to make matters worse at the other end a demon they called Beelzebub screamed into her ear that he was number 666 and welcomed her to the serpent's abyss.
Poor Biddy went berserk but composed herself when the devil himself offered her a deal, if she could get the Pope's big toe for him then he, the master of all evil, would raise her from the dead and restore her to the world of confusion.
An extraordinary request she thought but if 666 could raise her from the dead who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth. As far as she knew the Atheist or was it the Antichrist Pope didn't come across as someone who would part with his big toe willy-nilly.
“"I gladly accept your kind offer sir and if I have to I'll bite it off", cried Biddy ecstatic with the revelation that she might once again walk among the living. ''But how am I to get an invitation to his big toe?'' ''Let me worry about that'', said the blackguard beaming, which sent shivers through poor Biddy. She thought she would have a heart attack but then realised she was already dead.
“"Now before you depart on your mission let me show you the distractions of hell" and he stuck his tongue deep into her mouth. She had the feeling she was drowning," so this is what water boarding feels like then." The fire of his powerful body melting away her catholic upbringing and she embraced hells atmosphere and the trillions of atoms dancing to her exploding orgasms.
Floating in the bowels of hell with 666 astride her, she thought she recognized a man sporting a moustache as Hitler, but when the TV images of the second world war flooded her hard drive confusion took over.
Beelzebub switched on another TV screen and the horrors of humanity were laid bare before her very eyes. Not being able to take it any longer she begged for mercy, then the Imp gave her the toe extractor with instructions.
Her husband Striver was the first to hear the scream coming from the open coffin at the church service. An old woman fainted when she saw Biddy's head emerge from the coffin shouting for Striver "to get her the **** out of this timber grave."
Helping her to her feet he could hardly believe his eyes. There were sobs of a miraculous event taking place, followed by the usual hallelujah chants.
''Get me home quick'', she told Striver "I have things to do and places to go."
:santasmilBack home she unpacked the toe extractor and after reading the instructions she asked Striver to book her on the next flight to Rome where she had an audience with the Pope.
The instructions were to affix the toe extractor to the Pope's big toe and give a good pull. The devil would then beam her to hell with the toe and afterwards he would keep his promise and resurrect her .
At the Vatican a well-known bishop of dubious morals led her into a cell where the Pope and President Obama were settling down to have their feet disinfected, as was the custom. Offering to do the honours she immersed their feet in the bath of water and was about to clasp the extractor to the Pope's big toe when a terrorist attack took place and in the confusion clasped it to Obama's toe.
"O well" she thought," the devil a care, the Imp will never notice the difference when I whitewash it". And she stopped off at a paint shop on her way hell and had it looking whiter than white. After entering hell she presented the toe to the degenerate and he consumed it with vigour, but it wasn't long before he developed food poisoning. Biddy remarked on his bleak pallor. Pointing an overgrown fingernail at her he said: "You poisoned me you *****" and then he passed out.
She escaped his clutches only to find herself in the hands of the CIA and was charged with domestic terrorism and was locked up in Guantanamo Bay without trial and was water boarded three times a day. But when the guards saw that she was having multiple orgasms during the torture sessions they soon put a stop to it. But it was too late to stop the world citizens from hearing about it and they took to it like ducks to water and renamed it the Busher.
The new world order, headed by the Bilderbergs, were unhappy about the whole affair and decided to ban water boarding altogether. Back in hell a very sick devil swore revenge on Biddy and the owner of the foul toe which nearly done him in. Poor Biddy who was now occupying a room in the asylum for the insane was longing for the Imps tongue.
Meanwhile the devil made a full recovery and was planning a terror attack on the Pentagon.