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AtomicCafe1
11-15-2010, 01:28 AM
The boy’s parents refused to drive in the same car together. It was him or her. It was Mom or Dad. And it was the boy who had to pick, and one day they were all going to the beach and the boy’s parents pressed him to make a decision.

Kev, Kev who are you going to ride with?

Yeah, Kev.

You choose.

Completely up to you.

There is no wrong choice, Kev.

No wrong choice at all.

Just have to choose one that’s all.

Just one, Kev.

The day they were going to the beach and the boy had to choose, he just stood there kicking his shoes with the broken shoelace, and he rolled a pebble under his feet, a pebble that was the size of a grape and lopsided like a twenty-sided die. It was all of a sudden the most important thing in the world. He had to choose Mom or Dad.

Kev, hun, we can’t stay here forever!

Kev you got to make a decision.

You don’t want to get a bad spot on the beach!

Kev, we’re going to bad spot if you don’t choose soon.

Yeah Kev, you don’t want a bad spot.

Come on Kev.

It doesn’t matter who you choose.

Going to the same place.

Yeah Kev, we’re all going to the same place.

The little boy thought about his mom and dad’s cars while he rolled the pebble, now the most important thing in the world. His mom had a rusty blue car with a hole in the dashboard the size of a fist. She let him sit up in the front, but on one condition and that condition was that he shut up when she drove because she didn’t know if the airbags worked and she didn’t want to get in a crash. His dad’s car was a big truck, a big truck with a blue and white stripe running on top of it, even though the blue had faded and now it was light blue. The backseat folded back and the little boy slept in it whenever he and his dad took trips to his grandmother’s. His grandmother was old. There wouldn’t be any trips to grandmother’s soon. The boy rolled the pebble under his shoe.

Kev, it’s time.

Kev, who are you going to pick.

It’s time already.

Just pick one.

Yeah Kev, just pick one.

But come on, Kev, just do it already.

Kev, you just have to pick, are you going to pick?

Come on Kev, you just have to choose one, that’s it, just one.

Yeah Kev, just one.

Are you ready to pick, Kev?

He’s ready to pick.

* * *

They were at the beach.

The boy stayed in the water for a few minutes and then he sprinted out with
his arms hugged to his shoulders and then his mother gave him a towel. She told him not to get near her magazine with all that dripping. He draped the towel over his head and his teeth chattered like jackhammers and then he wondered when his dad would be back. He and his mom had arrived first and set up the umbrella and chairs, and then his dad arrived and immediately started off to walk the shoreline. I’ll be back later, he said. His voice was like a nest of cobras.

The boy wondered when his dad would be back, and his mother said, Oh, he’ll be back soon, Kev. But when the sun started down it was him and his mom packing up the umbrellas and leaving in her car back to the house without any dad.

hillwalker
11-15-2010, 08:07 AM
This is a powerful piece - mainly because the reader is expecting all sorts of things to happen en route to the beach (assuming they ever get moving).

You do a great job of racking up the tension - the insistent dialogue does that for you - and the ending leaves a huge unanswered question, which is how some of the best stories manage to stick in the mind.

Wonderful stuff.

H

AtomicCafe1
11-16-2010, 08:52 PM
Thanks Hillwalker, as always.