Fricourt

[Hawkman]

Fricourt

Stand upon the crest of the verdant rise, look West,
and in April you will see the flowering trees
inside the low brick wall, which takes three steps
in its downward march towards the distant sea.

On the left, two conifers stand guard
like sentries by the gate. At sunset
their shadows lie across the rows
of white stone teeth in fertile gums of earth.

Now turn and look North-East, and some way off,
below the rise, you will see a larger plot,
bounded by a fence of stark and skeletal trees.
It is a place that broods and mourns its shattered need.

Between the scattered daisies in the grass
stands an isolated slab of grey
amid austere black crosses
and inscribed upon its face, the Star of David.

A tiny cairn of pebbles rests upon its arching edge,
a poppy cross is planted at its foot.
In this deserted place it marks one as remembered
midst the thousands of forgotten lost.

[hillwalker]

A timely piece, Hawk - date-wise and time-wise -and I'm guessing there is perhaps a personal poignancy in this judging by the quiet dignity it inspires.

I hate to criticise such a well-crafted piece of writing but felt the following couplet could be improved :

On the left, two conifers stand guard
like sentries by the gate.

might gain greater impact if you wrote

On the left, two conifers
stand sentry by the gate.

... just a thought. But I enjoyed the poem immensely.

H

[Hawkman]

Hi hill and thanks. In answer to your query I have no familial connection with this site, other than visiting the ww1 battlefields as part of a sort of pilgrimage to my grandfather's survival and my Great uncle's loss at Leuze wood. I was struck by the contrast between the commonwealth cemetries and the German ones. The image of the Jewish headstone amid all those black crosses I did find particularly moving though, given subsequent history.

With regard to your suggested revision, I agree that it would work and I did consider it when writing but I chose not to put it that way. This is purely a subjective response to my personal reaction to the place. It just didn't feel right, but thanks anyway.

Live and be well, H

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'd have been sufficiently moved by the solemn dignity of this but, as a Jew, I was moved as close as I might be to tears by your tribute to the solitary grave marked with the Star of David. It is an additional curse to me that the anniversary of kristallnacht so closely coincides with the birthday of one of my beloved children.

[Delta40]

On the left, two conifers stand guard
like sentries by the gate. At sunset
their shadows lie across the rows
of white stone teeth in fertile gums of earth

What a great stanza! I agree with Prince and I think the way you have written such a panoramic view of the cemetery and then zoomed in to the salient feature is as creative as ever you are Hawk.

[Hawkman]

Hi Prince, and thanks for your kind words vis the poem. I'm glad it touched you, but in response to your last comment might I ask what more fitting response to the oppression of history can there be than survival and the defiance of engendering new life...

Delta, thank you too for your appreciative and complimentary response to this poem.

Live long and prosper - H

[Delta40]

wow! you're right. What an amazing picture and how moved you must have been standing there!

[Jerrybaldy]

Note to self. Comment before Delta in future, in case she should yet again pick out my favourite stanza. A moving and dignified reflection Hawk with great imagery and a strong message.
cheers
JerryB

[Hawkman]

Hi Delta,

Thanks for that. It's not the only Jewish headstone in the cemetery which contains 17,027 German war dead, but there aren't many. I don't know where you found the picture but here are some I took. Ther first is of the commonwealth New Military Cemetery which is described in the first two stanzas. The second is a detail from the German cemetery and features the detail described.


http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=1044&pictureid=8248

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=1044&pictureid=8249

Thanks JB, I'm glad it moved you.

Live long and Prosper - H