Black Stars (small poems)

[ryandyson]

*
black stars come drown me out
you made us drunk
on our dead notes

dissimilated
bread from head
loves blood red money on
paper notes

prove the human has a face
cutting through like headlines
deadlines

*

woke up the darkest life today
magma valleys ruptruing
is this a person
or something
defusing
in a
slew
of fire, skin, make a third
warmth
we are that third

*

the dripping tap
a disappointing successor
to the sea

the sky opens
in urine showers
stomachs bleed

the life that surprised us all
by imploding
spontaneously

*

scrath marks
capture well
human striving
human hell

http://www.aspharpoetry.blogspot.com/

[Delta40]

I can do cryptic crosswords ok but the limit of my lateral thinking stops right there. I would agree with Jerry that it certainly takes skill to write poetic incoherence. I will say well done to you and good luck to those who like to delve into the sub text!

[ryandyson]

You don't know how chilling for me it is to hear you say that; what has happened to the poetic grasp of the unconscious that used to predominate?

[Delta40]

lol. I haven't the foggiest! But as I say ryan, I know my own imaginative limit. This may be more about my limits than your broad scope of understanding. So continue on in your beautiful journey....

[hillwalker]

Of the set, I felt the final 4-line verse is by far the most memorable because the image you suggest is the most accessible and evocative.
The penultimate poem also grabbed my attenion and I was wishing it had ended after that opening stanza. Instead, it became rather unsettling and I was left feeling rather let down by the end.

Perhaps abstraction only works when we are given clues that allow us to convert random thoughts into some kind of order, since that's what we tend to do subconsciously all the time - search for order in chaos.

Your poems never fail to give out interesing sounds when read aloud, but it's difficult to decypher much of what you are writing. Word association without any association is merely playing around with words. I have already compared your work to Gertrude Stein's 'Tender Buttons' - if you have read it you will hopefully see it is not a criticism, merely an observation.

From the number of comments following your other poems I'm not alone in finding many of them too impenetrable to enjoy.

I would suggest 'the poetic grasp of the unconscious' relies on the poet being prepared to meet the reader half way. It is not always necessary that a poem be understood to be appreciated aesthetically - but if the reader is left completely in the dark, and the poem fails to make any other mark other than a question mark then that's a sign the poet is writing for himself and not his readers. That's not to say one should 'sell out'; but like any art, it's success or failure ultimately lies in the eye of the beholder.

H

[ryandyson]

Hmm, interesting comments. I looked at that Gertrude Stein poem - I very much like alot of Stein but after a while it makes me feel like doing a chicken dance and jumping out the window. I prefer ee commings I think - there's a real brave baseness here, and he does majic things with a few cleche'd words. The thing is not all my stuff is like this. I had a chapbook out which was meeting people half way, as you say, but I found myself quite alienated by it. I had allowed myself to be pushed a certain way for understandable reasons, but the poetry I write that is more authentic as you intuit its pretty much a bunch of words to most people. I promise it isn't; I could deliniate the significance of every dot, so I'm going to carry on in this searching way and it'll be interesting to know if this is a perspectival thing - if anyone is capable of understanding it besides me. Hmmm...

[ryandyson]

PS, I forgot which one this was - this is actually older stuff, much more clear eyed then recent I'm afraid to say!

[hillwalker]

Ooh. In that case we are in for interesting times ahead.

I personally regard writing poetry as looking at something in a certain way; exploring and revealing fresh perspectives that allow the reader to assimilate (not necessarily on first reading) and appreciate the result as something newly discovered.

In terms of your poems you are suggesting it is perhaps our perspective that makes us unable to decipher the clues you have planted. That may be so, and I would hate for you to have to explain the relevance of every single word. And as I said earlier, poems do not always need to be understood to be enjoyed.

But in the case of many of your pieces, without some degree of understanding we are left with little else to get to grips with - almost a case of ‘the emperor’s new clothes’.

I’m afraid to say I see little reason to persevere with reading this kind of poetry for so little reward, but shall continue to look out for future postings.

Good luck

H

[ryandyson]

Not at all am I thinking it's 'other people'; its obviously me!